"Caramel Knowledge" by the late, great local food writer Al Sicherman - Black Bottom (as in chocolate) Banana Cream Pie

Date I made this recipe:  September 4, 2017 – A tribute to a funny food writer

Caramel Knowledge – Bostess Bupcakes, Peanut Butter Coffee, Herring in a Cloud, Wienie Zucchini, and More Food and Culinary Musing for the Twisted Mind (Expanded Edition) by Al Sicherman

Published by Harper & Row, Publishers

0-06-096232-1; © 1988

Recipe: Black-Bottom Banana Cream Pie – p. 128

First, some of you may not be old enough to get the pun in the title:  Carnal Knowledge was a 1971 movie starring (singer/songwriter) Art Garfunkel, Ann-Margaret, Jack Nicholson, and Candice Bergman.  The story takes place at Amherst College in the late 40's, and the plot centers around an exploration of sexual mores at the time.  It also focuses on a contest between Nicholson and Garfunkel to see who can bag the most babes. 

That's about all I know of this movie (thank you, internet) but I do recall that the movie raised eyebrows, even back when it was released in the free-wheeling 70's. 

Second, the writer of today's featured cookbook, "Caramel" Knowledge, Al Sicherman, passed away last week and I am really sad about this.  In observance of his passing, I give you this cookbook.

"Uncle Al," as he was known, was a food columnist for the local newspaper, StarTribune.  Well mostly food.  Sometimes he included stories about other things:  Hmmm, I wonder who that remind me of?

Al's columns were hilarious.  I used to just laugh out loud when I read them, probably because I always felt we shared the same perspective of things which is to say, if something went wrong, surely there was a comedic moment to mine;  Al did a lot of mining.

During the course of his 26-year tenure with the "Strib," Al wrote two columns, his main one, sample titles of which you will see below, and a second one, "Tidbits," and authored two books, Caramel Knowledge and Uncle Al's Geezer Salad.  The Strib noted that even after Al retired from the Strib, he continued to write the "Tidbits" column until 2016.  Very impressive, Al!

All this from a man who started his career as an electrical engineer!  True story.

I'm very happy that Al switched careers (engineering was apparently not for him) and got a masters in journalism so he could go on to write his column.  And while I enjoyed his "Tibits" column, a column where he commented on new food products, it was the longer column that drew me.

Caramel Knowledge is a curated collection of Al's columns.  Like the book's title, the chapters are equally hilarious and often tongue-in-check.  Here's a sampling of his narrative style: 

"Carrots, you will no doubt remember hearing, are supposed to give you good eyesight.  I can attest to the truth of that contention.  I was always able to spot carrots being prepared – even at very great distances – and try not to be home when they were finally served."

His "chapter," Popovers (and Bagels) is funny because of the ending(s), titled "Follow-Up;" "More Follow-Up;" "Still More Follow-Up," and "Final Follow-Up."

Uncle Al was very thorough.

Right from the start, the book's Table of Contest gives us a glimpse of more humor to come. 

• "Using Up Parsley"
• "Things That Go Bump in the Oven"
• "Food for the Twisted Mind"
• "Great Culinary Expectations"
• "An Upper Midwest Festival of Hot Dishes"

 You have no idea how much I wanted to make something from the last column seeing as how "hot dishes" (casseroles) are revered in this state, but alas, nothing tripped my trigger.  A "Tuna (or Crab) Appetizer Hot Dish" came close, but no cigar which was unusual for me as I like tuna and crab.  I might have gone with the "Chicken Salad Hot Dish," but paused when I saw that mandarin oranges, a staple of a cold chicken salad, were to be arranged on top of the casserole and then baked for 20 to 25 minutes, ew.  Warm oranges?  I'm thinking "no!"

Here though, are some recipes that I thought worthy of my time:

• "Chocolate Bread Pudding" – p. 14
• "Eggplant Casserole Deluxe" – p. 27
• "Cornbread-Topped Bean and Bratwurst Bake" – p. 34
• "Mocha Brownies" – p. 35
• "Six-Legume Soup" – p. 53
• "Arroz Con Pollo" – p. 182

 And then there are the "also-rans" otherwise known as "No Freaking Way."

• Herring in a cloud (of blended sour cream and yogurt) – p. 135 (from the Food In A Cloud chapter).  Cloud or no cloud, I don't "do" herring.
• Kippers (Cured herring.  Brits eat it for breakfast – gaaaaa!) – p. 187 (from the chapter, A British-Mystery Dinner.  How appropriate as it remains a mystery to me why the Brits enjoy the food they do!)
• Steak and Kidney Pie – p. 189 (same chapter above) Never, ever.
• Spirals of Starch (lasagna noodles + mashed potatoes + cheese + butter) – p. 212 (from the chapter, Food for the Twisted Mind) These ingredients would be fine if sold separately but not so much when combined. 
• Cold Lime Cream Soup – p. 216 (from Great Culinary Expectations) Maybe it's just me, but the "lime" in this equation is a record-scratch moment.  Now, lime and tequila, that's another story!

I am happy to report that the recipe we selected, "Black-Bottom Banana Cream Pie" (p. 127-128), was delicious.  This might have been the first time I ever made the "cream" portion of a cream pie and was very happy with the outcome even though I had way more filling than I had room; my finished pie looked like a volcano!

Although this recipe is fairly easy, it will take a bit of time to assemble as you have to melt the chocolate, scald and add some milk, then eggs, then mix again, etc. but it was worth it.  The only minor critique I have is that I pictured the chocolate layer mixing in with the banana cream layer for some total creamy goodness but that is not what happened.  After refrigeration, the chocolate layer sort of separated from the banana layer and so I felt like I was eating two different desserts, not that I cared but that's what it felt like.

No worries.  We love bananas, we love creamy custard fillings, and we love chocolate. I could have done without the pie crust but that's just me:  I'm also a person who prefers frosting over cake, no apologies.

In conclusion, you were a good man, Uncle Al, and I'm glad I purchased your cookbook a long time ago so I had it at the ready to pay you tribute.  And how fitting really, that your book's title is Caramel Knowledge, seeing as how my last attempt to make caramel went haywire, leaving me with scars. After the tears were gone though, I laughed about the incident because as you know, food and kitchen disasters can be funny.  Really funny.  Thanks for sharing your humor with us.

Black-Bottom Banana Cream Pie – makes one 9-inch pie; serves 6-8

Bottom Filling:

1 ½ one-ounce squares unsweetened chocolate (Ann's Note:  A while back, baking chocolate makers switched from one-ounce squares to ¼ ounce squares.  Although I am often math-challenged, this means you will need 6 of these little squares!)

6 tablespoons milk (Ann's Note:  You'll also need another 2 ½ cups milk for the filling)

1 egg yolk

2 tablespoons sugar

1 ½ teaspoons cornstarch

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 baked 9-inch pie shell

Banana Filling:

½ cup sugar

6 tablespoons flour

¼ teaspoon salt

2 ½ cups milk

1 egg plus 1 egg yolk

1 tablespoon butter

½ teaspoon vanilla

3 ripe banana's (or bananas)

½ cup heavy cream, whipped

Prepare the bottom filling:

Melt the chocolate in a small saucepan; set aside.  Scald the milk in a saucepan. (Ann's Note:  To scale milk, bring milk to a near-boil (i.e. bubbles start to form), then pull it off the stove.) 

In a mixing bowl, beat together the egg yolk, sugar, cornstarch, and salt.  Gradually beat in the scalded milk.

Pour the mixture into the saucepan in which the milk was scalded and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until the custard is smooth and thick – don't boil it.  (Ann's Note:  It seemed to take an awfully long time to thicken this mixture.  What felt like days was probably 10 minutes; be prepared!)

Stir the melted chocolate and spread over the baked pie shell.

Prepare the banana filling:

Combine the sugar, flour and salt in the top of a double boiler over boiling water.  Gradually stir in the milk and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture is thickened.  Cover and cook 10 minutes more, stirring constantly.

Beat the egg and egg yolk and beat in a small amount of the hot milk mixture.  Lower the heat under the double boiler so that the water stops boiling.

Pour the diluted egg into the hot milk mixture, stirring it in rapidly.  Allow the mixture to cook over the hot water for two minutes, stirring constantly.

Remove the mixture from the heat and stir in the butter and vanilla.  Cool.

Slice 1 banana and arrange on the chocolate layer.  Immediately slice a second banana into the warm custard mixture and pour into the shell.  (If you wait a long time before you cover them, the first banana slices will darken.)  Chill.

Just before serving, whip the cream and pipe or spoon it over the top of the pie.

Slice the last banana and arrange the slices around the edge of the pie, inserting them into the whipped cream at a slight angle.  Serve immediately.

"The Tailgater's Cookbook" & "One-Pot Meals Seventh Annual Readers Best Recipe Cookbook Minneapolis Star and Tribune" - Brats in Beer and Green and Gold Salad

Date I made these recipes:  September 20, 2015 – Green Bay Packers Home Opener

The Tailgater's Cookbook by David Joachim

Published by:  Broadway Books

ISBN: 0-7679-1835-5

Purchased at Powell's – Chicago

Recipe:  Brats in Beer – p. 68-69

One-Pot Meals – Seventh Annual Readers Best Recipe Cookbook by the Minneapolis Star and Tribune

Published by:  Minneapolis Star and Tribune

© 1983

Purchased at Arc's Value Village Richfield

Recipe:  Green and Gold p. 53 (columnist Mary Hart's recipe)

Finally!  Finally, finally, finally, my Green Bay Packers beat those evil Seattle Seahawks in a grudge match at Lambeau Field.  Plus, it was the Packers' home opener so that made it all the more special.

But you would know that at the same time the game was going on (night game), so were the Emmy Awards and this resulted in major channel-flipping on my part.  This is not necessarily a bad thing though, as I've found that sometimes changing the channel means that the Packers get organized and score and that is exactly what they did last night.  I'm somewhat convinced that if I watch them when they're down that this may jinx them and so I will flip back and forth until the danger has passed. (We all have our little superstitions in life and this is mine.)

Given that Wisconsin is know for beer, brats (and cheese), selecting this recipe from The Tailgater's Cookbook was a no-brainer.  But I do take exception to the author's statement "If you're at Soldier Field for a Chicago Bears game or at Lambeau Field for a Packers game, you'll fit right in with these brats on the grill."

For the record, there is no reason to go to Soldier Field for a brat.  None.  Oh sure, if you're a Bears fan, but why would you be?  ;)  By the way, the Packers played Da Bears in Soldier Field last week for the NFL season opener and they beat them.  And this is as it should be. 

This recipe is very easy to make but I used the wrong beer, making the dish a little more tangy (read:  bitter) than it should have been.  If you use a lighter beer like an IPA (India Pale Ale) you'll be fine as the beer flavor will compliment, not overpower the brats. 

And then there's the Minneapolis Star and Tribune newspaper's annual readers [cooking] contest Green and Gold Salad to talk about.  Out of all the recipes I could have made, this one spoke to me because green and gold are Packers colors.  But I was sure tempting fate by making something out of a Minneapolis/Minnesota cookbook seeing as how this state's home team is another Packers rival – the Vikings.  Now, the Vikings played another NFC North opponent, the Detroit Lions, yesterday and won as did the Packers, but if the Packers had not prevailed, then I would have been beside myself thinking that I jinxed my team.  Happily, all's well that end's well.

Although this salad really didn't "go" with brats and kraut and beer, it was tasty and refreshing and it was green and gold so it fit with my theme.  I can be all about themes.

Both cookbooks have a ton of recipes that should float your boat, if not your football.  The Tailgater's Cookbook has a variety of menus geared toward various NFL games, as well as NCAA and even NASCAR events.  Plus, there's a directory for sourcing tailgating gear starting on page 179, and so if you can't find something to like in this book then I just don't know.

The Minneapolis Star and Tribune book – Seventh Annual -  is a compilation of best recipes from readers hinder and yon, including, of all things, a dessert recipe from my former voice teacher, Vicky Mountain.  Vicky won 2^nd place in the "Baked Desserts" contest for her "Sinful Chocolate Custard," a recipe I normally would have tried out except I'm feeling a little chocolated out right now.  Back in 1983, the year of this contest, Vicky was teaching at the West Bank School of Music.  She's now voice department chair at MacPhail Center for the Arts (formerly the MacPhail School of Music) and when she's not there, she's gigging in jazz clubs around the Twin Cities area.  I was surprised and yet not to see her photo in the book as she is a great cook as well as an outstanding vocal teacher.  I took voice lessons from her years ago and had a blast. 

Besides Vicky, other notable celebs in this cookbook are Star and Tribune columnists Mary Hart and Al Sicherman, who handled all that was cooking and recipes for the newspaper.  Mary wrote a column in the Star and Tribune paper, "Ask Mary," and Al wrote a column called "Tidbits," in which he would often bring to our attention food items coming to market or comparisons of size, price and taste of those that had already hit the market from companies like General Mills or other big food producers.  Al is also very funny so reading his columns was a high spot to many a dull day.

Speaking of dull, while baseball can get kind of snoozy from time to time, I dare say that there is not an NFL team out there that puts us to sleep, even on their worst game day ever.  It's why I love/hate football and why it is the only reason I ever embrace the coming of fall.  And these recipes are a great way to get into the spirit even if your colors are not green and gold (although they should be).

Brats in Beer – makes 10 brats

2 ½ pounds of your favorite fresh bratwurst (about 10 links) (Ann's Note:  the author recommended Johnsonville Brats and don't you know, they are a Wisconsin product.)

2 cups sauerkraut, drained

1 bottle or can (12 ounces) beer  (Ann's Note:  for best taste, use a "light" beer like an IPA – India Pale Ale.  We only had dark on hand and it was a bit bitter.)

1 green bell pepper, cut into short strips

1 onion, thinly sliced

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter or vegetable oil, optional

10 crusty sausage or steak rolls

½ cup coarse German mustard

Ann's Note:  This recipe is intended for the grill but it started raining about grill time so I used the stove-top instead, simmering the brats and sauerkraut mixture for 30 minutes only before serving.

Heat grill to medium and let rack get good and hot, about 10 minutes.  Brush and oil rack, then grill brats until nicely browned all over, turning now and then, 15 to 20 minutes total.  Put brats in a large disposable aluminum pan directly on grill.  Mix in kraut, beer, bell pepper, onion, and butter or oil, if using.  Stew in pan (on the grill), mixing occasionally, for at least 30 minutes or up to 3 hours (for a charcoal grill, add fresh coals every hour or so.)  Serve on rolls with a steaming slew of kraut, peppers, onions, and a thick band of mustard.

If you like your brats with a crisp skin but still want the stewed flavor, reverse the cooking process in this recipe.  Stew the brats in the pan with the other ingredients first; then when you're ready, toss them on the grill until the skins are browned all over and the brats are cooked through. 

Green and Gold Salad – Makes at least 6 servings

1 ½ large heads of Romaine lettuce

3 oranges, peeled and sectioned

2 avocados, peeled and sliced

Orange dressing:

2/3 c. salad oil

3 T white vinegar

1/3 cup orange juice

1 small clove garlic

1 ½ T grated orange peel

1 ½ tsp basil

½ tsp sugar

¼ tsp salt

¼ tsp pepper

Prepare orange dressing by placing ingredients [salad oil, vinegar, orange juice, orange peel and spices] in a blender at low speed for a few seconds.  Refrigerate for 1 hour in a covered jar. 

At serving time, break Romaine into pieces and add oranges and avocados.  Toss with ¾ cup of Orange Dressing.

"Virginia Safford Food of my Friends" - Meat Loaf

Virginia Safford Food of my Friends by Virginia Safford

Published by:  University of Minnesota Press, Minneapolis

© 1944

Recipe:  Meat Loaf (Hostess:  Mrs. Joseph H. Ball) – p. 156

You know, shopping for cookbooks at Arc’s Value Village Thrift Stores is often a learning experience as much as it is a bargain hunt.  I had never heard of Virginia Safford before purchasing this book and yet what sold me is that she was a popular columnist for the Minneapolis Star Journal. 

As newspapers goes, the life and times of the Minneapolis Star Journal was complicated:  the newspaper we now have in Minneapolis, the Minneapolis StarTribune, was the result of a merger between the Minneapolis Tribune and the Minneapolis Star. In between, there was the Minneapolis Journal, The Minneapolis Times and the Minnesota Daily Star that later became the Minneapolis Star.  There are families with family trees that are less complicated!

So somewhere in that whole mix, we had the Minneapolis Star Journal and that is the newspaper that employed Virginia Safford.  Ta da!  Yet information on Virginia remains sketchy and this irks but it is what it is:  even in the electronic age, we cannot always find what we are looking for on the internet, and this, folks, is why books remain important!

Although I was drawn to this cookbook because of the ties to Minneapolis, I selected it for this past weekend’s meal because of the “friends” portion of our program.  Not only did I spend an entire weekend at various holiday events with friends and hosted by friends, but I was sorely missing my best friend, “Tall” Carol, and so pulled out this book as an homage to her.  And I have to tell you, she would have hooted at much of this book.

Take, for example, Virginia’s foreword:  “…And those Sunday suppers – why, in my teens I do not remember that I was ever close to the kitchen on Sunday nights than was necessary to set the table.  One maid always stayed in to help us serve to the boy friends – we called them beaus in those days….After all, the attractive Sunday supper was at that time consider one of the nicer ways to get your man.  Well, I got my man…”

I can just see Tall sputtering at the talk of having a maid and then really cracking up at the statement “Well, I got my man…”  Granted this was 1944, but Tall was so independent that she would have bristled at anybody setting out to land a man and be taken care of for the rest of their lives.

One thing that Tall and Virginia had in common though, was a wide circle of friends.  Each chapter of this book showcases a menu prepared by the Hostess (insert dignitary name here) with a little bio or story about each hostess setting the stage for the menu to follow.  Since I am not a Minnesota native, I don’t know all of the hostess’ by name, yet some jump out because they are household names in these parts:  Mrs. Harold E. Stassen (Minnesota Governor from 1939-1943); Mrs. Stanley E. Hubbard (founder of Hubbard Broadcasting) and Mrs. John S. Pillsbury of cake mix and bake-off fame.  (Also included:  Duncan Hines who was a) a real person who b) reviewed various eating establishments across the country and c) who lent his name to a cake mix brand.)  (I do believe though, that my favorite name in the book has got to be Mrs. F. Peavey Heffelfinger – I just like the sound of it!)

Today’s recipe for meatloaf, an American standard, comes to us from Hostess Mrs. Joseph H. Ball, wife of Minnesota Senator Joe Ball (born in Crookston, Minnesota in 1905, appointed to the United States Senate to fill the seat vacated by Ernest Lundeen who was tragically killed in a plane crash in 1940.  Senator Ball was elected to his own six-year term in 1942.)  Here is what Virginia Safford had to say about Mrs. Ball:

Almost everyone knows that Senator Joe Ball of Minnesota helps with the dinner dishes, and that Jennifer, aged fifteen, is the guardian of little Sara, aged four, and wants to run a nursery school when she grows up.  They know too that Betty Ball is her own cook, and that being a guest at dinner in the Balls’ Washington home is anything but formal. 

Naturally, Mrs. Balls’ menu showcases what an informal home cook she is:  Home-Baked Beans, Hot Biscuits, Tomato Jelly Salad, Raw Carrot Strips and Celery, Marshmallow Mousse and Drop Cookies.  Add to that was a recipe for an Oven Omelet and today’s featured Meat Loaf.

Now, I happen to love meat loaf in whatever form it takes with whatever is added to it, but I loved this one in particular as it contains ground beef, ground pork and ground ham.  I loved the ground ham almost as much as I loved the addition of half of a can of condensed tomato soup; people may differ but there is almost nothing that cannot be enhanced by a can of soup!

So I mixed up all my meat and egg and whatnot and then added my chopped onions and then decided that the onions were way too big.  So I plopped the entire mixture in my Cuisinart and ended up pulsing it a bit too long, but you know what?  What I got was almost like a pate’ and I love pate’ and I do believe that my accidental pureeing of the meat mixture did the trick.

If it wasn’t the holiday season, I would have loved to sit down and read through more stories because some of them are just cracking me up, but alas, who has time?  As an example, there’s “Hostess” Mrs. Harry E. Gerrish of whom Virginia writes:  “Her christening party ‘lamb cakes’ are even more famous [than her Christmas candy]…You can understand how Dorothy’s lamb vies with the baby for the attention of guests at a christening party.”

I can tell you right now, wherever Tall “is,” she is chortling with laughter.  She would have loved this meatloaf.

Meat Loaf – serving size not given

½ pound each of ground beef, ground ham and ground pork

½ cup condensed tomato soup

½ cup milk

1 egg, well beaten

1 medium-sized onion, chopped

½ cup cracker crumbs

¾ teaspoon salt

Dash of pepper

Ann’s Note:  I had my grocery store deli slice off a piece of ham about 1/4 – 1/2 inch thick and then “ground” it at home in my Cuisinart.  Beats having to get out an actual grinder!

Mix all ingredients in bowl, knead well, and shape into loaf.  Bake in 350 oven for 1 hour.  (As stated above, I plopped the entire mixture in my Cuisinart and loved the results.  You’ll end up with what looks like paste but when done resembles pate’.)

"Rhubarb Renaissance" - Salted Caramel Rhubapple Pie (For Mother's Day)

Date I made this recipe:  May 13, 2012 (Mother’s Day)

Rhubarb Renaissance by Kim Ode

Published by:  Minnesota Historical Society Press

ISBN:  978-0-87351-851-2

Recipe:  Salted Caramel Rhubapple Pie – p. 62-63

Today is Mother’s Day and since my mother is no longer with us, I’m honoring someone else’s mother instead.

Mimi Danicic is the delightful daughter of my friend, Kim Ode.  I’ve mentioned Kim before in this blog but all good things bear repeating:  Kim is an accomplished journalist for the (Minneapolis) StarTribune, author of two cookbooks – Baking with the St. Paul Bread Club and this new one, Rhubarb Renaissance. Kim is also a member of and contributing writer to Facebook’s “Baking 101” group that is filled with very cool people who know their way around baking pans and hot ovens.  Kim is also one very cool bones player (trombone) in my community band, the Calhoun-Isles Community Band.  Kim’s husband, photographer John Danicic, plays trumpet and their daughter, Mimi, has done a few summer stints with the band in the percussion section.  (Mimi also plays a mean string bass!).

When I first met Mimi (and her parents), she was in high school or perhaps just going in to high school and now she has the audacity to being “this close” to graduating from college.  How did that happen?

Mimi apparently inherited her mom’s baking instincts as Kim credits her for coming up with today’s recipe.  This recipe, and Mimi and her very cool parents, rocks!

Now some of you may shy away from rhubarb (for no good reason, if you ask me) but this recipe should get you down off the ledge because the rhubarb is offset by apples and caramel.  Mama Kim did not raise a fool in Mimi as this was one excellent pie!

My mom, Rose Marie, processed a lot of rhubarb back in the day because it was abundant in our garden.  She made and then froze a rhubarb topping for ice cream (talk about delicious what with the tartness of the rhubarb offsetting the sweet taste of ice cream), made rhubarb jam, and rhubarb cookies, cakes and pies.  I think the only reason she didn’t use rhubarb in a savory way was because she didn’t have Kim’s cookbook.  Curses!

Now when it comes to my blog, I tend to err on the side of making a savory dish because typically that constitutes our main dish for Sunday dinner.  But this time around, this pie spoke to me and so I went the opposite route and for once decided to bake something as opposed to roasting something, sautéing something or even crock-potting something.  And this decision was potentially fraught with peril because I am not a baking type of gal.  That role, as well as the title “Pie Guy,” goes to my husband, Andy Martin.

Two things make my Pie Guy giddy these days:  baking a pie and riding a bike.  Neither one has anything to do with the other but so what?  Life is filled with odd couplings.  So for once in my life, I put on my big girl panties and not only decided to bake something but decided to bake a pie (a mile high).

First things first:  buy a frozen pie shell!  Kim’s ingredients list says “pastry for a single-pie crust,” surely intended to enlist all of us in the task of rolling out our own homemade pie dough.  When the Pie Guy is baking, this happens and happens in a good way.  When the Pie Gal is baking, this does not:  this is why my Rainbow grocery store was invented and this was why they had a sale – 2 pie shells for $2.99.  Step one complete!

Step two involved peeling, coring and thickly slicing Granny Smith apples.  “I got this,” I thought because I had an apple corer and slicer tool and how easy would that be?  Except I am sometimes too anal for my own good so I sliced the apples without peeling them first and then – duh – had to peel all the apple slices from the six apples Kim said I should use.  For the record, that is a lot of sliced apples!  But I soldiered on.

I also had to cut the rhubarb so that it yielded 2 cups of 1-inch pieces.  I hate math and I get irritable when I am told to cut things into “x”-size pieces (sorry, Kim) and so I just the pieces all willy-nilly and that worked for me.  (For the record, I can be kind of literal – and anal – about instructions and so oftentimes when it says “1-inch pieces I pull out the measuring tape I keep in my kitchen specifically for those type of instructions. Today was not one of those days.)

And now a word about instant tapioca – am I dreaming or once upon a time was this ingredient pretty inexpensive?  Not so today.  I checked three grocery stores and two of them wanted between $3.59 and $3.79 for the tapioca.  Rainbow came in at a cool $2.99.  You may find this cost-averaging ridiculous but people, the recipe called for a mere ¼ cup and so when I am likely to use up the remaining tapioca?  Besides, three bucks is three bucks but $2.99 is $2.99, right?  (It’s a cooking math thing…)

Okay, so with all my ingredients and instructions, I got to work.  Because I didn’t make the pie crust my counter was devoid of messy flour and whatnot until I got to the streusel and then it looked like a flour bin exploded.  At least I had the good sense to put another pan under the pie tin so my oven wouldn’t look like my countertop.  (And this is why I don’t bake.   Who wants to look like Casper the Ghost after finishing?).

After the required half an hour, I checked my pie and it still looked a little peaked so I left it in for 10 more minutes and then it was perfect.  I drizzled the caramel over the top like the pro I aspire (but fail) to be and proudly served it to my Pie Guy who was so busy inhaling this yummy concoction, he couldn’t come up with a compliment for about five minutes.  But when he did it was glowing and so hooray, we had liftoff!

So thank you Mimi and Kim for coming up with this dish and putting it in the cookbook and making me look like a bona-fide, if not flour-dusted, baker for one, brief moment known as Camelot.  And Happy Mother’s Day everyone! 

Salted Caramel Rhubapple Pie – serves 6 – 8

Pastry for single-crust pie (I bought a frozen pie shell)

½ cup walnut pieces

6 Granny Smith apples (about 2 ¼ pounds), peeled, cored, and thickly sliced

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon unsalted butter

½ cup honey

½ cup packed brown sugar

2 cups rhubarb, cut in 1-inch pieces

¼ cup instant tapioca

½ teaspoon kosher or sea salt

For the streusel topping:

½ cup flour

½ cup packed brown sugar

4 tablespoons cold butter, cut in small cubes

Line a pie plate with the crust and place in refrigerator while you prepare the filling.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Spread walnuts on a baking sheet and toast in the oven about 5 minutes, until there’s a warm, nutty aroma.  Cool, then chop coarsely and set aside. (Ann’s Note:  I like walnuts but I did not like them toasted. My husband isn’t keen on nuts at all so next time around, I think I’d leave them off.).

Toss apples with lemon juice and cinnamon.  Set aside.

Melt 1 tablespoon butter with honey and ½ cup brown sugar in a large heavy saucepan and heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a rolling boil.  Add apples, stirring to coat them with caramel.  Reduce heat and cook uncovered no more than 5 minutes.  Do not overcook them to mushiness.  (I’m happy to report I did NOT overcook them.  Whew!)

Place rhubarb in a bowl.  Using a slotted spoon, transfer the hot apples into the bowl with the rhubarb.  Add tapioca and stir to combine.  Let sit for 15 minutes.  In the meantime, add salt to the caramel remaining in the pan and cook, stirring often, a few minutes more to reduce it to a thick syrup.  Do not let it scorch.  Remove from heat and set aside.  (Ann’s Note:  it took more than a few minutes to get this to thicken, probably because I was so afraid about scorching the mixture that I turned the flame down really low.  The result though, was perfect!)

Combine streusel ingredients (flour, sugar and butter), pinching the butter with your fingers until it’s evenly distributed.  Stir in the toasted walnuts. 

Scrape the apple-rhubarb mixture into the chilled pie shell and drizzle with 3 tablespoons of the caramel.  Spread the streusel mixture over pie and bake for 30 minutes.  Let cool on wire rack at least 30 minutes.

Just before serving, drizzle remaining caramel (reheating if necessary) over the pie.

"Piggly Wiggly Daily Health Menu" - American Chop Suey

Date I made this recipe: February 26, 2012

Piggly Wiggly Daily Health Menus by Arthur Leslie Wyman, M.C.A.
Published by: Wyman Food Service
© 1927
Recipe: American Chop Suey – p. 373

The last few weeks have been all about competitions, from movies to singing to grocery bagging - yup, grocery bagging.

I was all set to torture myself trying to find something to make for the Academy Awards when James Lileks, columnist for the StarTribune, (Minneapolis newspaper) found it for me. What a guy!

Lileks, also the author of The Gallery of Regrettable Food, writes a hilarious column in the “Strib,” and on February 17, he reported that we have a new national (grocery) bagging champion, one Stephanie Teteak from a Piggly Wiggly in Appleton, WI. (Congratulations, Stephanie!)

Before I go any further, let me say this about that: my husband remains proud of his teen-year’s service as a grocery bagger at a local grocery store. Late-night host,David Letterman, also a proud grocery bagger, annually features the winner of this prestigious contest. This honor is not to be scoffed at; bagging is hard work! (And not to brag but meet me sometime at the Rainbow Grocery store at Midway where I will impress you with my own bagging skills – self taught!)

Sure, in this year’s Oscar race, you had Meryl Streep v. Viola Davis and George Clooney v. Jean Dujardin (The Artist) but these are rank amateurs compared to grocery baggers, am I right, or am I right?

So when James did me the favor of talking about grocery baggers, I promptly threw all other Oscar night recipe hopefuls aside and went straight for my Piggly Wiggly cookbook. I am nothing if not prepared for these occasions.

You wouldn’t think it by looking at this book but it is huge in terms of the number of recipes listed. The author provides a breakfast, lunch and dinner menu for each day of the year and on average lists seven recipes for each day. That’s a lot of cooking, folks!

As you might imagine, it took me a while to go through this book to find something to serve. And to my surprise, I found that while many recipes seemed sorely lacking in spices, there was almost an overload of recipes featuring curry. Maybe it’s just me but I didn’t think curry was used much in 1927 cooking. I learn something new every day.

Speaking of learning, and before I get to more about the Piggly Wiggly cookbook, this past Saturday, a friend and I went to a Show Choir Competition – my first one ever – and boy did I learn a lot! (Why we went to a show choir competition is neither here nor there and is a story best told over cocktails!) This thing was nothing like the glee club competitions I was in while in high school; we were sorely lacking in costumes, dancing (and prancing), elaborate sets and men! I realize that times have changed but even the TV show, Glee, did not prepare me for what I observed, and that is that costumes have gotten pretty skimpy over the years. In fact, I almost had a retina-burning moment when some Catholic school girls dressed in an outfit that I can only describe as “Project Runway – Street Walker’s Edition.” I mean, Holy Mother of God – bright red, plastic (made to look like leather), skimpy and form-fitting? Across America, nuns are turning over in their graves!

At any rate, the competition was…enlightening…and I want to shout out to my favorite school group of the day – Southside Sensation – from South St. Paul High School in South St. Paul, MN. Although they didn’t place in the competition, they were the first group that made me sit up and take notice. And as an aside, ladies of Southside Sensation, may I just thank you profusely for NOT curling your hair? I’d had quite enough of the “Irish” hair experience by the end of the day, thank you very much.

Okay, back to Piggly Wiggly and James Lileks and grocery bagging competitions and recipes…after hours of serious review and contemplation, I selected the American Chop Suey recipe featured today. I warned my husband that this may be a letdown because the ingredients were skimpy and hardly anything to write home to mother about—pork, onion, celery, soy sauce and molasses. But you know what? This turned out to be pretty tasty and provided me with a nostalgic moment of ordering something similar to this dish when I first started getting Chinese take-out. Maybe Grauman’s Chinese Theatre-style take out (to tie it in with the Oscars, don’t you know)?

By the way, to bring the entire theme full circle, I just read an article in a local business magazine about Minnesota’s own, Jeno Paulucci, who made a fortune from selling brand-name foods such as Jeno’s Pizza Rolls and, wait for it, Chun King Chinese food. Coincidence? I think not! (Okay, one other factoid and then I’m done – one of the teams competing in the show choir competition was Totino-Grace High School. This school was named, in part, after Jim and Rose Tortino who owned Totino’s frozen pizza, a favorite in these parts.)

Okay, who wants some grocery-bagging American Chop Suey?!

American Chop Suey – serving size not listed
2 pounds lean pork cut in a dice (these days, grocery stores feature “chop suey” meat that is all chopped and ready to go)
1 cup chopped onion
2 cups thinly sliced white celery (I used green seeing as how I’ve never heard of white celery)
2 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons soyu (soy) sauce
One cup hot meat stock or water
2 tablespoons molasses
Dried mushrooms soaked in water or one small can mushrooms (optional)

For the chop suey place in a saucepan two pounds of lean pork cut in dice and two tablespoons of butter; stir over a hot fire until the meat is browned; add two cups of thinly sliced white celery and one cup of chopped onions, stir and cook three minutes.

Add four tablespoons soyu sauce and one cup of hot meat stock or water; mix well, stir in two tablespoons of molasses and simmer slowly for one hour.

Just before removing from the fire add two cups of cooked noodles, heat and serve in a border of steamed rice. Dried mushrooms soaked in warm water and added at the time the meat stock is added are a nice addition.

"The Ballymaloe Cookbook" & "Baking with the St. Paul Bread Club" - Potato and Fresh Herb Soup and Irish Soda Bread

Date I made these recipes: March 20, 2011

The Ballymaloe Cookbook by Myrtle Allen
Published by: Gill and Macmillan
ISBN: 0-7171-1339-6; © 1977, 1984, 1987
Recipe: Potato and Fresh Herb Soup – p. 17

Baking with the St. Paul Bread Club by Kim Ode
Published by: Minnesota Historical Society Press
ISBN: 10: 0-87351-567-6
Recipe: Irish Soda Bread – p. 85 (recipe submitted by Karen Vogel, a bread club member)

You can thank chef (and Food Network star) Bobby Flay for the fact that I cooked a belated ode to St. Patrick’s Day.

As per usual, I was up late at night, minding my own beeswax and Bobby came on with a show titled “Bobby’s Ireland.” Well that’s succinct!

One of the places Bobby visited was Ballymaloe which I gathered was a cooking school. But that name sounded familiar to me for reasons other than the cooking school so I went to my cookbook shelves to investigate. And sure and begorrah, people, I had a Ballymaloe cookbook just waiting for me! It’s like the heavens opened up and St. Patrick just pointed to the damned thing. Thanks, Paddy!

My version is by Myrtle Allen who may or may not be related to Darina Allen who currently runs the cooking school. Google and Wikipedia are usually so good about telling me these things but not this time around.

Anyway…nothing really hit me in this cookbook (certainly not lamb, a meat I loathe) until I went back to the beginning and found the soup recipe. Since potatoes are to Ireland what pasta is to Italians, I thought that would be a fine dish for a blustery day. The only issue I have with the recipe is that I could not find a definition for “creamy milk” (What the hell, Google?!) so I used whole milk. And all was well with the world.

And that completes the main course portion of our program.

As to bread, I am not a bread person but my dad and my brother and my husband (and really, most men I know) are. And since my dad just passed away, I reviewed the bread book several times over to see about making something that dad would have liked and I found some…but they all contained yeast. I don’t do yeast. The times I used yeast, my bread became a doorstop it was that hard.

But for all you yeast-phobic cooks out there, I am happy to report that Irish Soda Bread does NOT feature yeast and therefore passes my culinary test and what the heck—it’s even Irish. What better accompaniment could there be to (Irish) potato soup than Irish Soda Bread? The gods had spoken! (That being said, one of these days I’m going to put on my big girl undies and just make the Bittersweet Chocolate – Ginger Bread (with yeast) already! Page 138 if you are interested)

In the interest of fair disclosure, I should tell you that while I have had the pleasure to meet and greet many a cookbook author in my day, I also know personally Kim Ode, author of Baking with the St. Paul Bread Company. In fact, it’s kind of hard to miss knowing Kim seeing how she plays trombone in my community band (Calhoun-Isles Community Band – www.calhounislesband.org) and could, if she wanted to, smack me upside the head with her trombone slide as she sits right behind me. I am pleased to announce that she has not yet done so, tempting as it may be for her.

Besides being an accomplished musician and our band’s librarian (Marian), Kim writes for the local newspaper, (Minneapolis) StarTribune. When I first started reading her byline, she had a column about odds and bits (for 10) of Minnesota life but then she switched to writing for the Taste section. And somewhere along the line she started breaking bread. I am in awe.

So when Kim’s book came out and I told her about my yeast-phobia, she threw her arm around me and said “Let me tell you about yeast.” She even told me I could call her with questions. Believe me, I thought about that but who wants to get a call from me on a Sunday afternoon saying “Help me! Help me! There’s yeast in my kitchen and I don’t know what to do?!”

And this is why I chickened out and made non-yeast bread. So sue me. But dang it all, it was pretty good. And it was huge. So huge that I cut the bread into four large chunks to ensure that the middle was cooked – that kind of huge. (Added bonus: Irish Soda Bread toast!!) My husband is in hog heaven and I’m pretty chuffed that I managed to bake a bread (yeast or no yeast) that I don’t have to use on a door and that was (magically) delicious!

And there you have it—St. Patrick’s Day (with a few extra days thrown in for luck) 2011! We now return to our March (Madness) programming, already in progress…..

Potato and Fresh Herb Soup – serves approximately 7 (not unless you are feeding leprechauns!)

4 tablespoons butter (55g/2 oz)
1 cup peeled diced onions (110g/4 oz)
1 cup peeled diced scallions (110g/4 oz)
3 cups peeled diced potatoes (425g/15 oz)
1 teaspoon salt
Freshly-ground pepper
Sprig of any 3 of the following: parsley, thyme, rosemary, lovage (1/2 leaf), bay-leaf (1/2 leaf) (This time Google pulled through: lovage is a leafy plant that, from what I gather, does not grow here in North America.)
5 cups stock (1.2 liters/2 pt)
1 cup creamy milk (see my note above: I used whole milk) (250 ml/8 fl oz)

Toss the potatoes and onions in hot butter and then sweat them on a gentle heat for 10 minutes, as in the Basic Soup recipe. (Not reprinted here). Add stock and herbs and cook until soft. Remove tough herb stalks. Puree the soup, taste and adjust seasoning. Thin with creamy milk. (Ann’s Note: this last direction was a puzzler. The soup wasn’t that thick to begin with and “creamy milk” suggests it is to be used as a thickening agent, not a thinking agent. But what do I know?!)

Irish Soda Bread – makes one large loaf. (The author points out that this bread is not the sweeter and softer version many of you are used to. I thought it was great)

3 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup old-fashioned oatmeal
¼ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 large eggs
2 cups buttermilk
Extra butter to grease your hands so the dough won’t stick (this not in the original instructions!)

Preheat oven to 375. In a medium bowl mix whole wheat and all-purpose flour, oatmeal, salt and soda. In a small bowl mix together eggs and buttermilk. Add to flour mixture, and mix well. This dough will be very heavy (and sticky). Turn out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead just to make sure that all flour is moistened. Shape into a round, and place on a greased baking sheet. Press additional oatmeal into top. With a sharp knife slash an X across loaf. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes.

Ann’s Note: I baked it for 45 minutes, then took a small piece out of the top and found it to be too moist. I put it back in for another 10 minutes then cut the bread into chunks and then put it back into the oven for about another 10 minutes. Perfect! But let me just say that prior to this, I was once again thinking that I was not meant to be a bread baker. I can only imagine what would have happened had I tried to make yeast bread!!