"Martha's Got Nuthin' On Me" - Papa's Shrimp Cocktail - a tongue-in-cheek ode to Martha Stewart and her "fields"

Date I made this recipe:  May 30, 2017 –a tongue-in-cheek ode to Martha Stewart and her "fields."

Martha's Got Nothin' On Me by Dish & Flow

Published by Left Field Ink

ISBN: 0-9664737-0-1; © 1998

Recipe:  Papa's Shrimp Cocktails – p. 41

I often remark that I have a cookbook for everything and I swear, this one was just waiting for me to find it just after I had myself a little hilarious rant about Martha Stewart on Facebook. 

Frequent readers know that I have a love/hate relationship with Ms. Stewart (hereinafter "Real Martha.")  While I appreciate some of her recipes and her cookbooks, she is just a tad precocious, especially when it comes to the "to-do" calendar she calls "Martha's Month," featured in her magazine, Martha Stewart Living.

I think we can all agree that most of Real Martha's to-do's in no way resemble the average persons.  Plus, let's not kid ourselves:  Real Martha has "people" to do these things for her.  ("People. People who need people....are the luckiest people....in the world.....")

This then, is my Facebook post from May 25th which set off the hilarious responses listed below.  You should know that I included a photo of "Martha's Month" from the June issue and some comments below reference Real Martha's other to-do's:

"So while I was waiting to get my hair cut, I looked through Martha Stewart Living and...sigh.  I have a love/hate relationship with this woman and today the needle moved toward "hate."  Why?  Even though you may not be able to read this, please note that on 6/5, her to-do is "mow fields."  Not lawn, or even "field" singular but "fields" plural.  For the record, Andy and I have a lawn and he mows it because I don't mow (allergies).  Martha likely doesn't mow either, but likely not due to allergies.  No, someone like Martha has people to do that for her.  People who need people...And fields. Plural."

Then the replies started:

Ann B:  I came to respect her when she made homekeeping respectable again.  But she does have staff.  I think most everything is easier with staff.

Me:  If I could afford "people," trust me, I'd have "people."  I specifically want someone to dust This Old House and I would be happy.  A friend of mine became a fan when she learned that Martha grew her own grass for her Easter baskets. Might have also smoked some as well.  Just sayin'... (Ann's Note: I got a few chuckles from that one.)

Bonnie M:  "The peasants tend the fields."

Me:  "They do indeed.  They will also be busy on the 15^th [of June] planting the SECOND crop of beets.  I mean really Martha, like one crop of beets isn't sufficient?"

Annette K: "A whole day to clean outdoor light fixtures?  I could clean my one outdoor light fixture in two minutes."

Me: "I don't "do" outdoor fixtures.  Please, they're outdoors, they get rained on and snowed on and that's "clean" enough for moi.  But Martha likely has a billion outdoor fixtures so she would [have her people] dedicate an entire day to cleaning them."

Annette K:  "You'll notice I said 'could' clean."

Jeff H:  "Ann, the solution is within your grasp.  Simply rename Andy "People," and then on 6/5 in your calendar write "Have people mow the field."  Then it should be easier to relate to Martha's Calendar."

Me:  "Well that's hilarious!  But don't forget, it's field(s), not field.  Of course, we have to first find ourselves a lone field and then figure out how to double it.  As always, Martha complicates everything!"

Jen R:  "Ann Verme, front yard is field 1 and back yard is field 2...fields, there you go."

Me:  "And now I can sleep at night.  As always, thanks Jen!"

Alec S:  "I could get by with "stocking up on summer wines"... (Ann's Note:  So could I!)

My friends are nothing if not amusing and creative. I bet Real Martha never thought of some of this stuff!  That said, Real Martha pays attention to details whereas these Martha Wannabes did not.  None of the recipes in the cooked contained a yield, something that absolutely drives me nuts.  Could I make some assumptions based on the amount of ingredients called for?  Yes, but why?  Real Martha would never do that to me.  Or Real Martha's people.  Just sayin'.

Also irksome is that the Table of Contents is filled with cute little chapter names such as "Rabbit Food," "Udder Decadence," and "Flo's Corner" which are all well and good except they don't list what recipes are contained in each one.  This is not good.  Real Martha is frowning.

Although my usual MO is to make main dishes, this time around I was more interested in Appetizers and so selected the shrimp cocktail and folks, let me just say that we were "in the weeds" before we even got started.

The recipe contains all of six ingredients:  Bay Shrimp; cocktail sauce; diced celery; 1 tsp horseradish;  ½ tsp dry mustard, and 2 dashes of black pepper.  We are not told how much shrimp to buy nor how much cocktail sauce to use, but we are told in the narrative that you need ¼ cup of diced celery in the bottom of each shrimp cocktail glass (I used far less).  Since I was serving this with some other food, I didn't want to stuff myself with too much shrimp and so out of the half pound I purchased, I gave us four shrimp each for this serving and we still had some left over.

Now that I figured out the shrimp and the celery, I turned my attention to the sauce which needed some adjustment.  Since the authors didn't say how much sauce to use, I used about a quarter of the bottle, maybe even less.  I was loathe though, to add the amount of horseradish called for in the recipe because shrimp sauce contains horseradish so I adjusted the amount to ½ tablespoon.  I also cut the mustard and pepper in half.  The result was still nasal-clearing so I'm glad I made that call because too much of a good thing like horseradish is still too much. Real Martha would be the first one to say that an excess of horseradish is not in fact, a "good thing."  Real Martha loves "good things."

By the way, should I have scalded my esophagus, Real Martha probably has a cure for that, likely involving planting a large garden of fresh herbs to be used in some fancy schmancy poultice or something because that is what Real Martha does.  Real Martha also pronounces the "h" in "herbs" and she is the only one to do that but then again, this is what separates Real Martha from the Martha Wannabes.

Now you may be asking yourself why I didn't just wait until June 5^th to make this dish as an homage to Real Martha, but keep in mind "I'll" be moving the field(s) that day and won't have time to cook so it's now or never.  Enjoy!

Papa's Shrimp Cocktail- serving size unknown

Bay Shrimp (Ann's Note:  I purchased a half pound – about 20 shrimp)

Cocktail Sauce (Ann's Note:  I used about a quarter of the bottle)

[1/4 cup diced celery per serving]

1 teaspoon horseradish

½ teaspoon dry mustard

2 dashes of black pepper

Prepare a shrimp cocktail for each guest.  Any type of glass will do as long as it's not too tall.  Special shrimp cocktail glasses are the best, though.  If you have some, add some crushed ice to the bottom glass, then place the cocktail glass inside.

Place about ¼ cup of diced celery at the bottom of each shrimp cocktail glass.  Top with shrimp.

Mix cocktail sauce and seasonings.  Spoon on top of shrimp.

"Breakfast at Brennan's and Dinner, Too" by Pip, Jimmy and Ted Brennan, Proprietors of Brennan's, New Orleans - Shrimp Creole - Mardi Gras!

Date I made this recipe:  February 28, 2017 – Fat Tuesday and the start of Mardi Gras!

Breakfast at Brennan's® and Dinner, Too by Pip, Jimmy and Ted Brennan, Proprietors

Published by Brennan's Inc.

ISBN: 0-9639819-0-0; © 1994

Purchased at Barnes and Noble (Used), Roseville, MN

Recipe:  Shrimp Creole – p. 159

Ah, Mardi Gras!  Every year, it arrives before we know it, kicking off the Lenten season with one big party in the Big Easy (and your "Little Easy's," i.e. other southern cities that celebrate Mardi Gras).  After using this cookbook, I realized that I am going to have to beef up my "Mardi Gras" cookbook collection as supplies are getting low.

This cookbook, Breakfast at Brennan's – and Dinner, Too!, is from one of the leading restaurant families in New Orleans, the Brennan family.  Starting in 1946, various Brennan family members started creating some of New Orleans's most beloved restaurants (and food) and are still going strong today.  The first of these restaurants – Brennan's – kicked off the restaurant boom, but they are also known for the restaurant, Commander's Palace, from which notable chefs Emeril Lagasse and Paul Prudhomme got their starts.

Like many restaurant families, the Brennan's have had their share of controversies, starting with the contentious 1974 departure of (aunt) Ella Brennan from her family's restaurant group.  She left Brennan's to manage Commander's Palace and never looked back until 2014 when she returned Brennan's for a visit.   Wow—that was a long-lasting family feud although I do believe it ended with that visit. Ella made a name for herself at Commander's Palace and is the subject of a 2016 documentary about her life and her loves – New Orleans and food.

This book though, is about the restaurant run by Ella's nephews, Pip, Jimmy and Ted Brennan.  Their father, and Ella's brother, Owen, gave the family its start in the business and after Ella's departure, they took over running Brennan's. 

Although I've been to New Orleans twice in my life, I have never been inside either restaurant although I would love to some day, particularly Brennan's.  Brennan's interior has been much discussed and is much-photographed as it is classic south:  soothing green and pink abound and I love it. Even the exterior is pink! Although the interior has been redone from time to time, the private party room remains the same and you can't beat classic design like that.  Locally, Murray's steak house was known for their pale pink interior but then was redesigned and painted yellow a few years back.  I have not seen the new interior and I get why the Murray family wanted to upgrade, but still.  At any rate, some of you may consider Brennan's interior downright gaudy in which case, please leave the reservation lines open for someone like me who would appreciate, nay, bask in it!  (I am an old soul.)

At any rate, when it came time to find my Mardis Gras meal, I didn't have to look too far and honestly, could have probably cooked my way through the entire book (save for the frog leg's) but time was of the essence (hmm...Emeril's "Essence?") and so I selected a New Orleans's classic, "Shrimp Creole."   And you can't go wrong with Shrimp Creole but I tell you, you can also "go right" by this dish and make it up the day before you are going to eat it to let the flavors really settle in.  I enjoyed the dish "fresh," but I really enjoyed it the next day.

Another reason to make it up and let it settle in is that it calls for 2 tablespoons paprika which is an awful lot, but it brings unique flavor to this dish that I liked.  If you are around my age (late 50's), you grew up during an era when paprika was something you sprinkled on a plate of lettuce that was topped with a canned peach half and cottage cheese to make a fancy salad.  Back then, paprika was used to add color to a dish rather than as a flavor-enhancing spice.  To be honest with you, I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that much paprika but finally ended on the side of "She likes it, hey 'Mikey!'"  (1972 Life Cereal commercial). 

In addition to the paprika, the recipe's other spices include cayenne pepper (naturally—this is New Orleans we are talking about), white pepper and Italian seasoning which again, only added to the flavor profile...and now I'm sounding like the judges on Chopped!

And as always, no god-fearing New Orleans' [Creole] cook would ever consider making a dish like this without the "Holy Trinity" i.e. you green pepper, onion, and celery, which is why they are pretty much the first ingredients on the list right after butter – ha! 

Now should you for some reason (allergy, dislike – other) decide shrimp is not your thing, you should be able to find something equally delicious in this cookbook as it supplies you with a wide-range of options.  Here are the Table of Contents categories:

• Appetizers
• Soups
• Sauces
• Salads
• Salad Dressings
• Breakfast
• Entrees
• Side Dishes
• Desserts
• Drinks

Note though, that many dishes in this cookbook are heavy on seafood, especially shrimp and oysters, even some of the breakfast dishes.  And unlike other parts of the country, salad dressings are almost as important as the salad itself; this holds true for sauces as well. Then there's the drink menu and you should know that Brennan's drink menu is almost as famous as the restaurant itself.  My personal preference though, for making a meal is to make an entree and that's why I went with the Shrimp Creole but feel free to roam about the cabin.

All right then, so Mardi Gras is underway, Lent is underway and the whole thing will come full circle on Easter Sunday, April 16^th when it's time for ham.  Meanwhile, this dish makes a great and tasty entree for those of you observing a Lenten meatless Friday so have at it and enjoy!

Shrimp Creole – 8 servings

½ cup (1 stick) butter

1 ½ cups chopped green bell pepper

1 ½ cups chopped onion

1 ½ cups chopped celery

1 tablespoon garlic, finely chopped

¼ cup tomato paste

2 tablespoons paprika

1 ½ teaspoons Italian seasoning

1 ½ cups chicken stock or water

1 cup tomato juice (Ann's Note:  I cheated.  I did not want to stock up on tomato juice just for this dish so I pureed some of the tomatoes this recipe uses and added that juice to the mixture.)

1 cup peeled and chopped tomatoes

1 ½ teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

1 ½ teaspoons salt

Pinch of black pepper

Pinch of cayenne pepper

Pinch of white pepper

1 ½ tablespoons cornstarch

4 tablespoons water

3 pounds medium shrimp, peeled and deveined

¼ cup chopped fresh parsley

4 cups white rice (Ann's Note:  cooked white rice, made however you want to.)

Melt the butter in a large saucepan and cook the bell pepper, onion, celery, and garlic until tender, 5 to 8 minutes.  Stir in the tomato paste, paprika, and Italian seasoning and cook an additional 3 minutes.  Add 1 ½ cups chicken stock or water, tomato juice, tomatoes, Worcestershire, salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and white pepper.  Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 8 to 10 minutes, stirring frequently.

In a small bowl, blend the cornstarch with 4 tablespoons water until smooth.  Gradually add the cornstarch to the shrimp sauce, stirring constantly, until the sauce thickens.  Add the shrimp and parsley to the sauce and bring mixture to a boil.  Lower the heat and simmer for 5 to 8 minutes until the shrimp are cooked through; do not overcook.

Serve the Shrimp Creole over cooked rice.  Pasta can be substituted for rice.

"Mesa Mexicana" and "Pati's Mexican Table" - Shrimp Ceviche and Classic Avocado Soup for Cinco de Mayo!

Date I made these recipes:  May 5, 2016 – Cinco de Mayo

Mesa Mexicana by Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger with Helene Siegel

Published by:  William Morrow and Company, Inc.

ISBN: 0-688-10649-8; © 1994

Purchased at Arc's Value Village Richfield

Recipe:  Shrimp Ceviche – p. 90

Pati's Mexican Table – The Secrets of Real Mexican Home Cooking (As seen on Public Television) by Pati Jinich

Published by:  A Rux Martin Book/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

ISBN: 978-0-547-63647-4; © 2013

Purchased at The Bookcase, Wayzata, MN (now closed)

Recipe:  Classic Avocado Soup (Sopa de Aguacate) – p. 64-66

May is one busy month.  We have your May Day (May 1^st) celebration (which here in Mpls, is held at Powderhorn Park every year), then my late parent's anniversary a few days later, then Cinco de Mayo, the Kentucky Derby, my wedding anniversary, and then before you know it, we'll be looking at Memorial Day.  I'm exhausted already.

And then there's the fact that I was pretty busy in late April making dishes for Queen Elizabeth's 90^th birthday and then dishes to honor a late friend's birthday.  So when Cinco de Mayo came around, I almost bagged the whole thing (i.e. cooking) but no.  No, I'm a "professional," I have the cookbooks, I can do this.

And so I did but I kept things simple.  And this was not an easy thing to do because both of these featured cookbooks celebrate the art of scratch cooking and include recipes for things like salsa and other sauces, tortillas (flour and corn) and many other dishes that require just a bit more time than I was prepared to spend. 

And so it came to pass that I made "Shrimp Ceviche" from the Mesa Mexicana cookbook written by two favorite cookbook authors, Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger and "Classic Avocado Soup" from Pati's Mexican Table written by the always delightful Pati Jinich.

In last week's blog about Australian food, I noted that I liked one dish, a salad with shrimp and beets and carrots a lot, but was "meh" on the meat ball soup.  Seems I had a theme going because this time around, I was "meh" on the ceviche but (mostly) thumb's up on the soup.  Go figure.

And now, on to the cookbooks, starting with Mesa Mexicana.  Had I more time, I might well have made another dish and would likely have found it delicious but I was pushing the envelope on observing Cinco de Mayo in a timely manner and so wanted something easy.  This eliminated a good portion of tasty-sounding recipes and so I urge you to give this book a whirl even though the ceviche fell flat for me.

That said, I've never had ceviche before and so maybe I was expecting a different flavor profile than I got?  I am not a huge fan of red onion or cilantro so that may have been it.

(Some people hate cilantro.  I don't mind it but I don't love it either.) And I wasn't exactly enamored with the clam juice so that may have been it.  Or I might have gone too light on the lime juice although I used the amount listed in the recipe. 

What I did like was that you partially cook the shrimp first; I am no fan of raw seafood.  And I liked the lime but just didn't feel it did anything to the dish.  And so this was rather disappointing but not such that I'm hatin' on [authors] Mary Sue and Susan because I'm not.  I just made a mistake in judgment about the recipe this time around.

Whereas folks, the soup fared much better.  It too, contained cilantro but not a lot (plus, I halved the recipe) and all the ingredients combined gave the somewhat bland tasting avocado a bit of zip and flavor.  I like avocado but eating one does not send one's taste buds soaring – just sayin'.  Still, I had some the other night and it seemed like it was missing something.  Maybe more salt or maybe some ground cumin or some other spice because it was good but not great. 

Since I've talked and written about Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger in a previous blog, let's take a moment to talk about Pati Jinich.  I think I first saw Pati on the TV show, The Chew but it looks like she spends most of her time hosting the PBS show, Pati's Mexican Table (the same name as today's cookbook).  Pati is a native of Mexico and I like her style of cooking—clean, fresh, fairly healthy.  What I also like is that we get a chance to sample Mexican food that isn't Tex-Mex in disguise (i.e. more Texas influenced than true Mexican). Like most cuisines, Mexican cooking varies by region. Coastal areas are known for seafood whereas parts of the interior are known for using various cactus and other earthly delights.

If you have more time, these are just some of the recipes I considered:  Mesa Mexicano – "Vegetarian Burritos" (p. 147); "Green chicken Chilaquiles Casserole" (p. 116); "Potato Poblano Soup" (p. 106), and "Coconut Flan" (p. 230).  From Pati's Mexican Table: "Avocado and Hearts of Palm Salad (with corn)" (p. 46); "Chicken Tinga" (p. 140), and "Red Rice" (p. 224).

So that's my Cinco de Mayo story and I'm sticking to it!  Meanwhile, here you go:  Mexican food made simple.  Enjoy.

Shrimp Ceviche – Serves 4 to 6 as an appetizer (makes enough for 12 tacos)

Author's Note:  "This simple ceviche is a good choice for entertaining since the fish is partly precooked, eliminating any qualms guests might have about raw fish."

4 cups fish stock or clam juice

1 pound peeled rock shrimp or 1 ¼ pounds small shrimp, shell on

1 small red onion, finely diced

1 to 2 serrano chiles, stemmed, seeded if desired and finely chopped (Ann's Note:  if you can't find serrano, substitute jalapeno but use a little less)

2 large bunches cilantro, stems trimmed and roughly chopped (Ann's Note:  if you are not a fan of cilantro, use a small amount)

¼ cup freshly squeezed lime juice

1 teaspoon salt

Bring the stock or clam juice to a boil in a large saucepan or stockpot.  Add the shrimp and cook 30 seconds for rock shrimp, 1 minute for shrimp in the shell.  (For the marinade to really soak into the shrimp and the texture to remain crisp rather than rubbery, resist any temptation to overcook.)  Strain, reserving the liquid, and spread the shrimp on a baking sheet to cool.  When cool enough to handle, peel the shrimp if necessary.

Combine all of the remaining ingredients with the shrimp and 1 cup of the reserved cooking liquid in a bowl and mix well.  Cover with plastic and chill thoroughly before serving.

Variation:  marinate ¾ pound sea bass or snapper fillets, cut in chunks, in ½ cup freshly squeezed lime juice until opaque.  Drain and discard the juice.  Combine the fish with 1 cup clam juice and the remaining marinade ingredients listed above with an additional tablespoon or two of lime juice.

Classic Avocado Soup – serves 8 – can be made up to 12 hours ahead, covered, and refrigerated.

From the author:  "I have tasted many avocado soups, but this one, based on a recipe from Dona Maria Rose Marmolejo, the former cook at the ambassador's residence in Washington, D.C. is creamier, lighter, and yet more luxurious than any other I've had."

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 ½ cups coarsely chopped white onions

¾ cup loosely packed cilantro leaves

3 large ripe Hass avocados, halved, pitted, meat scooped out, and cut into chunks

6 cups broth from Mexican chicken broth (p. 87) or canned chicken or vegetable broth

1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice, or to taste

¾ teaspoon kosher or coarse sea salt, or to taste

1 ½ cups Tortilla Crisps (p. 66) or croutons for garnish

1 cup diced queso fresco, Cotija, farmer cheese, or mild feta for garnish

Heat the oil and butter in a medium skillet over medium heat until the butter melts and begins to foam.  Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until completely softened and lightly browned, 15 to 20 minutes.  Stir in the cilantro and cook until it wilts, about 30 seconds.  Remove from the heat.

Working in batches if necessary, place the avocados in a blender or food processor, along with the onion mixture, broth, lime juice, and slat, and puree until smooth.  Taste for seasoning.

Serve the soup at room temperature, or chill and serve cold.  Top each serving with some of the tortilla crisps or croutons and cheese, or pass the garnishes in bowls at the table and let your guests customize.

"Pig Out with Peg - Secrets from the Bundy Family Kitchen" - Middle Age Spread (shrimp spread)

Date I made these recipes:  June 8, 2015

Pig Out With Peg – Secrets from the Bundy Family Kitchen by Peg Bundy as told to Linda Merinoff

Published by:  Avon Books

ISBN: 0-380-76431-8

Purchased at Arc's Value Village Thrift Stores

Recipe:  Middle Age Spread – p. 56

Today's Random Thoughts on Recipes:

1)     I should have made the meatloaf.

2)     I realized I don't really like nutmeg.

3)     What have I ever done to cream cheese to make it hate me so much?

4)     It's a terrible day when your Cuisinart "turns" on you.

Ooof!  Folks, I am on a dangerous roll here.  The last few blog posts have included some very easy recipes and yet, if there is a way to screw them up, I seem to have found it.

Take the Jell-O recipe from the end of May.  The recipe said to add Jell-O to your smoothed out cream cheese but when I did it, the mixture got all chuncky as if I substituted cottage cheese instead.  I did not.  The taste was great but the appearance was not like the example in the photo.

Then today, I made this very easy shrimp dish.  I gathered all my ingredients, straight out of the refrigerator, threw them all, as directed, into the Cuisinart, and then pressed the "On" button.  I noticed that the cream cheese that I added got stuck and instead of just turning the machine off, I took two seconds out of my day to turn to grab a spatula to un-stick the cream cheese and boom – instant puree!  Waaaaaaaaa!  So instead of making a middle age spread, it seemed I inadvertently made a middle age dip.  But isn't that the way things go where your body is concerned?  One minute, it's all looking good and then next minute, gravity hits and it's all looking terrible and worse, it's all heading for the floor at the speed of light.

Which is why, I suppose, this makes this the perfect dish for our fictional Peg Bundy.

I never watched the TV show, Married with Children, but that didn't mean that I didn't keep track of things.  And so when I had the opportunity to snap up the cookbook, Pig Out With Peg [Bundy], I snapped it up.  And then all I needed was a reason to cook from it and...

...and on Memorial Day, I broke my self-imposed 12-year boycott of going to a movie theater (long story, best told over cocktails), and went with a friend to see Pitch Perfect 2.  I only got around to watching Pitch Perfect this winter, recording it on my DVR, and was amazed at how much I liked it.  Sometimes the movie hype is so high that I'm often left wondering why I bothered but luckily, this was not the case for this movie or the sequel.

At any rate, so there I was, in a theater at 10:10 a.m. (the first showing was at 9:30 but I refused to get up that early on a day off) for Pitch Perfect 2, and who appears on screen by "Peg Bundy," also known by her real name – Katey Sagal.  Katey plays the mother of a new "Bella" ( of "The Barden Bellas," the university's a cappella group) and appears at the beginning and end of the movie.  When I mentioned her appearance to my husband, he reminded me that she is a bona fide singer, having done backup vocals for Bette Midler as one of The Harlettes.  Well, that works for me! 

At any rate, the movie was – as the saying goes – "Aca Awesome!"  Once again, I set myself up for disappointment because sequels often do that to a gal, but this was funny.  And may I just say that the guest appearance by my Green Bay Packer's O Line (Offensive Line) was Oscar worthy?  It was.  Not that I'm biased or anything.

So while Pitch Perfect 2 (and Katey) were indeed awesome, the same cannot be said for this recipe for Middle Age Spread.  Sigh.  Where to begin?  How about with the first thing I said above:  I should have made the meatloaf.

A lot of recipes in this book sounded really good, including the meatloaf, but nooooooo, I just had to make this recipe for Middle Age Spread because, well, the name says it all and just cracked me up.  This should have been an easy-peasy recipe had it not been for the Cuisinart turning all evil on me.  Because "spread," the operative word in that recipe moniker, was not what happened when I switched on my Cuisinart.  Oh no—we're talking Middle Age "Dip."  Any resemblance of shrimp, an ingredient that should have stayed chucky, was gone.  And I tell you what, [working with] cream cheese is turning out to be like dealing with a little kid:  you turn your back on it for two seconds and all hell breaks loose, namely, the "liquidation" of my recipe.

And then there's the nutmeg issue and we need to discuss this because the more I look at this recipe, the more I am convinced that "Peg" meant to say something like add a teaspoon of "Old Bay Seasoning" or "Cajun seasonings" or something with a bit more zip.  Because nutmeg?  It does not go with shrimp.  In fact, the thought of the two together right now does not please me at all.  But I do have to give it credit for making me realize, all these years later, that nutmeg is not a good spice match for me.  I don't like the taste of it, much in the same way as I don't like Marjoram nor do I care for Tarragon.  So there – I have now hit the "spices I hate" trifecta.

So.  Were I do to this entire thing over again (not bloody likely), I would substitute that teaspoon of nutmeg for Old Bay or something more pleasing to my palate.  My husband liked this recipe but let me just put this out there:  he's a guy.  That's not to say that he doesn't have a discerning palate, he does, but in this case, we had to agree to disagree.  And this, of course, means all the more spread/dip for him, am I right?

Oh, and were I to make this again, you can bet your sweet bippy that I will not turn my back on my Cuisinart again.  Will not.

Middle Age Spread – Makes 2 ½ cups

½ pound cream cheese

3 cups cooked tiny shrimp (about 10 ounces)

½ cup sour cream

2 ½ tablespoons lemon juice

1 ½ teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Tabasco sauce, salt and pepper to taste

Toss the cream cheese, shrimp, sour cream, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and nutmeg into a blender.  *Sure you can use a food processor if you got yourself one for your husband's birthday.  Run the machine until everything's mixed but you still have specks of solid shrimp.  Add as much Tabasco, salt and pepper as you like.

*Funny she should mention gifts we got ourselves for our husband's birthday:  this year, my husband and I were in NYC for his birthday and of course, no trip would be complete without a stop at my favorite cookbook store, Bonnie Slotnick's.  Andy joked then "So how many cookbooks did Ann buy for your birthday, Andy?"  He knows me well.

"Cooking for Cher" - Shrimp Borracho (Drunken Shrimp) and Vibrant Verde Rice - for Cher's Birthday!

Date I made these recipes:  May 22, 2015 to celebrate  Cher's Birthday on May 20.

Cooking for Cher by Andy Ennis with a foreword by Cher

Published by:  A Fireside Book Published by Simon and Schuster

ISBN:  0-684-81493-5
Purchased at Arc's Value Village Thrift Stores

Recipes:  Shrimp Borracho (Drunken Shrimp) – p. 91 and Vibrant Verde Rice – p. 171

So May 20^th was singer and actress Cher's 69^th birthday, and once again kids, I had a Cher cookbook in my collection.  Had not my favorite radio station, 89.3 The Current, played some of her songs in her honor, I might have missed the opportunity to use the book, but details, details.  As it was, I could not make a dish on her actual birthday but caught up two days later.  So – Happy Belated Birthday, Cher.

For reasons that I cannot explain, I've had one of Cher's later releases – Believe – "Do you believe in life after love" – rolling around my head ever since I heard it was her birthday.  This surprises me because she and former husband, Sonny Bono, started cranking out the hits long before that song came along in 1998.

First up, Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down), released in 1966.  I was pretty young in 1966 so I'm guessing that the radio stations started playing it when some of her other songs were released:  You'd Better Sit Down Kids (wow—talk about an oldie but goodie) (1967); Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves (1971) and Half-Breed (1973) just to name a few. 

As to the last two songs, it occurred to me that Cher might have been having an identity crisis at the time she wrote them because one minute, she's complaining that "gypsies, tramps and thieves, we'd hear it from the people of the town, they'd call us..." but then the next minute, she's all "Half breed, that's all I ever heard."  Cher, honey, you can't have it both ways.  As one of my favorite community band directors once told our tentative trumpets when they balked at a few measures of difficult music -  "Just kiss and commit!".  So there you go.

In addition to Cher's solo releases, hopefully you'll also remember that she was "Cher" of The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, a variety show that ran from April 1971 to August 1974.  At the end of each show, Cher flipped her very long hair (a signature move of hers) and she and Sonny sang their most famous song, I've Got You, Babe.  Little Chastity, now Chaz, Bono used to make an appearance prompting my mother to start wailing "Why are they bringing that little girl out on this show? She looks scared!" every single time.  Every time.  My mother did not think much of introducing a child that age to the American public. 

By the time the show limped to its final show in 1974, Sonny and Cher's marriage was over and Cher ramped up her solo career both with solo song releases and appearances in movies like Mask, Silkwood and, my favorite, Moonstruck.  As an aside, a couple days ago, my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary and we so loved how Moonstruck, released a few years before our wedding, ended with the song "That's Amore," that we decided to use it as our wedding recessional song.  Besides, I'm half Sicilian and the portrait of Cher's family hit so close to home that we just had to go there.  Cher may have won an Oscar for Best Actress (and she was good) but the supporting cast stole the show. 

So anyway, there you have it, a summary of Cher in song and in the movies.  So let's talk about this cookbook and the dishes:  loved the cookbook, loved the dishes.  Cher's chef (and book author), Andy Ennis, created a lot of healthy yet delicious dishes for Cher and it was really hard to select just one.  So in our case, we selected two because he said the rice was a perfect accompaniment to the shrimp and it was!    For those concerned about alcohol, the amount of tequila used here is small and my guess is you could leave it out and still retain the flavor.  Although a Nutritional Analysis is provided at the end of each recipe, it doesn't read like a diet book at all, something I appreciated. 

As to serving size, I halved each recipe because there are only two of us and it was the perfect amount.  Plan to spend some time in the kitchen chopping the vegetables.

My only complaint, and it's small and not even related to this cookbook at all is that I cannot get "Do you believe in life after love" out of my head. It's been days now.  This must stop!  Really.  Maybe if I watch Moonstruck again, I'll start singing "That's Amore" instead in order to – and I'm quoting Cher – "Snap out of it!" ;)

Shrimp Borracho – serves 4 as an entree, 8 as an appetizer with Vibrant Verde Rice – serves 8

For the shrimp dish

2 teaspoons butter

4 green onion, thinly sliced

1/3 cup minced garlic

1 ¼ pounds plum tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and diced

1 ¼ pounds (about 14 to 16 medium) tomatillos, husks removed, rinsed and diced, or 1 can (28 ounces) tomatillos, drained and diced

1 ½ teaspoons dried thyme

1 ½ teaspoons crushed dried Mexican oregano

Pinch of cayenne

1 teaspoon all-purpose seasoning, such as Spike or Veg-it

1/3 cup coarsely chopped cilantro (or parsley) plus extra for garnish

1 ½ pounds large shrimp, peeled and deveined (16 to 18 shrimp)

1/3 cup fresh lime juice

2 tablespoons tequila

Garlic salt

Freshly ground black pepper

For the rice

3 fresh poblano or other mild green chiles (about ½ pound), roasted, peeled, and seeded

¾ cup chopped parsley

¾ cup chopped cilantro

3 cloves garlic, peeled

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 medium onions, finely chopped

2 ½ cups raw white rice

½ teaspoon ground cumin or cumin seed

5 cups low-sodium chicken broth or water

½ teaspoon salt

To make the shrimp

Melt butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat.  Sauté the green onions and garlic about 1 minute without browning.  Add the tomatoes, tomatillos, thyme, oregano, cayenne, all-purpose seasoning, and cilantro.  Cook about 5 minutes, or until the tomato mixture is softened and juicy.

Add the shrimp, cover the skillet, and cook about 3 minutes until the shrimp begin to turn pink.  Stir in the lime juice and tequila and continue to cook, covered, another 4 to 5 minutes.  Remove lid and adjust the seasoning, if necessary, with garlic salt and black pepper.

Neatly arrange the shrimp on plates with the accumulated sauce spooned over them.

Nutritional Analysis per serving (based on 4 shrimp per serving):  Calories: 303; Protein: 39.1 grams; Carbohydrates: 21 grams; Fiber: 4.7 grams; Fat: Total 5.8 grams, Saturated 1.77 grams, Cholesterol 336 milligrams; Sodium: 579 milligrams

To make the rice

In a food processor fitted with a metal blade, puree the chiles, parsley, cilantro and garlic cloves.  Reserve.

In a wide pot, heat the olive oil and saute the onions over medium heat until softened, 5 to 7 minutes.  Add the rice, cumin, and green chile puree.  Stir to coat the rice.  Add the chicken broth and the salt.

Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat to low.  Cover the pot and simmer slowly until all the liquid is absorbed, 15 to 18 minutes.  Remove from the heat and let stand, covered, 5 to 10 minutes more.  Fluff the rice with a fork.  Serve hot.

Nutritional Analysis per serving (8 servings total): Calories: 236; Protein: 6.96 grams; Carbohydrates:  52.5 grams; Fiber: 2.87 grams; Fat: Total 3.06 grams, Saturated 0.925 grams, Choesterol 3.12 milligrams; Sodium: 625 milligrams

"The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Cookbook" - Shrimp and Feta Vermicelli - For Forrest Gump's 20th "birthday"

Date I made this recipe:  September 7, 2014:  Forrest Gump is 20 years old!

The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Cookbook – Recipes & Reflections from FORREST GUMP; foreword by Winston Groom, author of the novel, Forrest Gump

Published by:  Oxmoor House

ISBN:  0-8487-1479-2

Purchased at Riverbank Antiques & Bookshop, Prescott, WI

Recipe:  Shrimp and Feta Vermicelli – p. 88

Ways to make your husband happy, part 802:  Make him a shrimp and pasta dish from The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Cookbook that he loved to commemorate the 20^th anniversary of one of his favorite movies, Forrest Gump.  I am a genius!

Believe it or not folks, Forrest Gump (the movie, not the fictional character) turns 20 this month.  It was a cute little movie, wasn't it, featuring a loveable main character, Forrest, a fun group of friends – Bubba and Captain Dan - and a mama who imparted all kinds of wisdom to her baby boy.  And the movie is fun because it is emminently quotable, although truth be told, my favorite line is not "Life is like a box of chocolates..." but rather "Stupid is as stupid does." No elaboration, needed, right?

Now, I don't have scientific evidence to support this, but I think a movie has made its mark in society when it is played and replayed and replyaed on various and sundry cable channels until you feel like you must have stared in it, or at the very least, written it, you've seen it so often.  Forrest Gump is now one of those movies.  Of course, being the Academy Award winner for Best Picture might also have something to do with it. 

On the other hand, for the longest time, the running joke was that cable station, TNT, had morphed into "The Shawshank Channel" as The Shawshank Redemption was the only show that on that channel.  Daytime, nighttime, anytime in between, when you tuned in, it was Shawshank followed by more Shawshank followed by yet another round of Shawshank.  Like Forrest Gump, The Shawshank Redemption was also released in 1994 along with these other contenders for Best Picture:  Pulp Fiction, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Quiz Show.  I have to tell you that I'm rather surprised that Pulp Fiction (the only movie I did not see that year) did not win but that is the beauty of the awards, right, because say it with me, folks:  "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."  "Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week..."

By the way, the ending of The Shawshank Redemption is the stuff [my] dreams are made of – well, except for that prison part.  And shall I tell you that I have yet to watch Pulp Fiction? I know, right?  I mean, I've seen parts of it but not the entire movie although some of the music from the movie is fantastic.  Two words:  Dick Dale!  (Dick Dale wrote the song Misirlou that was used in the movie and is known as The King of the Surf Guitar).  Four Weddings and a Funeral is still good for a laugh or two (save for anything uttered by actress Andie MacDowell who did not work for me in that movie.)  My favorite line from that movie came from  Gareth, played by actor, Simon Callow, who uttered "It's bloody Brigadoon!" upon seeing, and then participating in the Scottish dancing at "Carrie's" (Andie MacDowell) Scottish wedding. (FYI—the movie/musical, Brigadoon, starring Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse, was about Americans in Scotland, hence the remark.)

Okay, where was I?  Ah yes, Forrest Gump.   If you watched the movie (and you have, correct?), then you know that the character, Bubba, was pivotal to the plot and was instrumental in Forrest becoming a shrimp boat captain.  In 1996, The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., named after characters "Bubba" Blue and Forrest Gump, opened a restaurant by the same name (there's even one in the Mall of America) and the rest is history.  The cookbook though, was published in 1994, shortly after the movie came out.

Like Bubba and Forrest, we love shrimp in this household, so any and all of the recipes in this book would have worked for us but Andy decided on "Shrimp and Feta Vermicelli" over "the other pasta dish" (his description), "Angel Hair Pasta with Shrimp" (p. 87).   As he put it, "the shrimp and feta had fewer ingredients and I liked that."  After eating his way through an entire serving, he declared "I LOVE this pasta!"  And so there you have it.

Happily, this book did not contain any shrimp for dessert (or worse, in dessert) recipes because we are not the TV show, Chopped and therefore do not do crazy things with our food.  There are limits, people, limits.  But, as the Table of Contents suggests, You Can Bake It, You Can Barbecue It, etc. and if you can't find something yummy to make in any of those chapters then put the book down and walk away. 

And speaking of Chopped and other TV cooking contest shows, I've heard many times that seafood and cheese do not go together and yes, there are some fish that should never be slathered with cheese, but shrimp and feta go well together.  In fact, this recipe is somewhat similar to a favorite we made and remade and remade from Bon Appétit magazine many years ago.  If you want a simple but impressive and tasty party dish, this is the one!

One final note, I also have another Forrest Gump cookbook – Forrest Gump My Favorite Chocolate Recipes, but Andy and I both agreed that chocolate did not go with shrimp at all (worse than cheese!) and so we will cook from that another time.  In the meantime, start channel flipping as you don't want to miss a minute, not even for the 300^th time, of the movie.

PS—The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. Cookbook contains a lot movie quotes including "Bubba sure knew his shrimp," but not this one from Forrest in response to LBJ's  (President Lyndon Baines Johnson) question "Where were you hit?:  "In the buttocks."  Hilarious!  Well done, Winston Groom!

Shrimp and Feta Vermicelli – Yield:  3 servings

8 ounces vermicelli, uncooked

1 pound unpeeled medium-size shrimp (Ann's Note:  the instructions say to peel and devein the shrimp but you can save yourself a lot of trouble if you just buy shrimp that is already peeled and deveined)

¼ cup olive oil, divided

Pinch of sweet red pepper flakes

2/3 cup crumbled feta cheese

½ teaspoon crushed garlic

1 (14 ½ - ounce) can tomato wedges, undrained (Ann's Note:  I searched the world over in my grocery story and couldn't find tomato wedges so I substituted diced tomatoes.)

¼ cup Chablis or other dry white wine

¾ teaspoon dried basil

½ teaspoon dried oregano

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon pepper

Garnish:  fresh basil sprigs

 Cook vermicelli according to package directions; drain.  Set aside and keep warm.  (Ann's Note:  vermicelli doesn't take long to cook so start it when you're on the final 10 minutes of the dish.)

Peel and devein shrimp.  (Ann's Note:  Those who can, do.  Those who can't (or don't want to), buy it frozen and ready to go!)  Cook shrimp and red pepper flakes in 2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium heat, stirring constantly, 2 minutes or until shrimp turn slightly pink.  Arrange in an ungreased 10- x 6- x 2-inch baking dish; sprinkle with cheese.

Add remaining oil to skillet; add garlic, and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until tender.  Add tomatoes; cook 1 minute.  Stir in wine and next four ingredients (spices); simmer, uncovered, 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Spoon over shrimp.  Bake, uncovered, at 400F for 10 minutes.  Serve over pasta.  Garnish, if desired.