"The Art of Armenian Cooking" - Baked Cream of Wheat Dessert (With Honey Syrup)

Date I made this recipe:  September 25, 2017 – a late observance of an Armenian festival held on September 16 at St. Sahag Armenian Church, St. Paul, MN

The Art of Armenian Cooking by Rose Baboian

Published by Doubleday & Company, Inc.

© 1984

Purchased at Talk Story Books, Hanapepe, Kauai, Hawaii

Recipe:  Baked Cream of Wheat Dessert (With Honey Syrup) – p. 83

I have to confess that I know next to nothing about the country of Armenia but that didn't stop me from purchasing an Armenian cookbook a few years back just in case I needed it some day.

I am happy to report that today's that day!  Actually, a week ago was the day but I was busy.

A few weeks ago, I was driving through St. Paul when I noticed a sign that said that St. Sahag Armenian Church was having an Armenian festival on the 16^th.  First, I didn't even know this church existed, and second, there was a festival? I love festivals!  Unfortunately, I couldn't attend which is why it was fortuitous that I had the cookbook.

According to Wikipedia, Armenia is sort of a gateway country, with access to Turkey, Georgia and Iran.  Recognized languages are Armenian, Assyrian, Greek, Kurdish and Russian.  You can see a lot of those countries and language influences in the recipes and it was kind of fun for me to look through it because of that.  Interesting factoid about Armenia:  Chess is a compulsory subject in schools.  (https://sunriseodyssey.com/12-interesting-facts-about-armenia-that-you-might-not-know ) I think that's pretty cool except I'm pretty sure I would have flunked it!

Unlike the last couple of cookbooks I used, this one had a large Table of Contents as follows:

• Appetizers
• Beverages
• Breads, Quick
• Yeast Breads
• Cakes
• Candy
• Cookies
• Desserts
• Eggs and Egg Dishes
• Main Dishes
• Poultry
• Preservers
• Salads
• Soups
• Stews
• Vegetables

 Notice that Dessert("D" for Dessert) comes before meats and salads and soups and this is totally appropriate because of this saying:  "Life is short.  Eat dessert first!"

I would have loved to make "Stuffed Grape Leaves" (Appetizers) except the recipe made 40 and even half that recipe is a few more than we could handle. I wouldn't have minded "Baked Eggplants (Olive Oil)," also an Appetizer, but wanted to see what else this book had to offer.

Under Beverages, you can enjoy either "Turkish Coffee," "Armenian Tea" (flavored with cinnamon and cloves), or a "Madzoon Beverage;" "Madzoon" is a yogurt that should be available in Greek grocery stores.

The [Quick] Breads section showcased a mix of sweet and savory-filled breads and even though I am not a bread person, I was tempted.  Honey is a major ingredient in a lot of Armenian recipes, including the dessert I made.

As I've said before, I don't "do" yeast breads so I skipped over to the Cakes chapter and found a two recipes of interest:  "Madzoon Spicecake" (Madzoon is yogurt) and "Chocolate Madzoon Cake." The only reason I did not make the chocolate cake was because the frosting called for ½ cup of marshmallow fluff and I did not want to buy a container of it just for this recipe.  I looked to see how hard it would be to make at home and the answer was "not hard," but I would have had to buy marshmallows and didn't want to do that, either.  Sometimes recipes get bounced by me because of the ingredients which is sad and yet practical.

The Main Dishes chapter was a mix of stuffed vegetables, lamb dishes (lots of lamb dishes), pilafs, and even a meat pizza.  I pondered a few dishes but once again moved on.

I'd chat more about the other chapters, but that would mean I'd have to spend more time handling the book and unfortunately, I'm starting to break out right now due to my allergies to dust mites.  We all know cooking can be dangerous but so can handling dusty or moldy/mildew books!  The less I pick up this book again, the better. 

And so let's move on to the dish of the day, the dish that "had me at 'hello'" with the main ingredient – Cream of Wheat®.

Cream of Wheat® and Quaker Oats® Oatmeal were the two dishes my brother and I loved to eat in the winter.  I always ate my oatmeal with table sugar (granulated sugar) and milk (and raisins if we had them).  My Cream of Wheat® though, was always topped with butter and a bit of brown sugar.  I'm not sure why we ate them that way although it's probably because that was the "method" suggested on the package.

I must say that while I wasn't expecting to see Cream of Wheat® in an Armenian cookbook, the recipe sounded good and I thought "Why not," and so I made it.  It was good but fair warning:  this recipe is pretty sweet and syrupy, kind of like a sweet Baklava.  It also crumbled quite a bit when I tasted it just after baking which is why you should refrigerator it so that it holds together better.

Before I go, I have to mention that this recipe makes a 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan but as is usual and customary, I halved it.  The taste was fine and the recipe was just enough, but merciful heavens, some of these ingredient measurement divisions were too much for my math-challenged brain!  Seeing as how I had no idea how this was supposed to turn out, I was really tempting fate on this one but I think I came out okay.

Baked Cream of What Dessert (With Honey Syrup) – makes a 13x9x2-inch pan.

2/3 cup (1 1/3 sticks) salted butter*

3 tablespoons shortening

1 cup sugar

2/3 cup brown sugar or omit brown sugar and use all granulated sugar – 1 1/3 cups

2/3 teaspoon cinnamon

1/3 teaspoons cloves

1 1/3 cups Cream of What

1 1/3 teaspoons baking powder

1 cup finely chopped walnuts

1 cup flaked coconut

1/3 cup milk

4 well-beaten eggs

For the Honey Syrup

1 1/3 cups sugar

1 1/3 cups water

1 1/3 tablespoons honey

1 teaspoon lemon juice

*Ann's Note:  I only have sweet, unsalted butter in my refrigerator but I found directions online to turn sweet butter into salted butter by adding ¼ teaspoon of salt to every half cup (1 stick or ¼ pound) butter. 

Cream together butter, shortening, sugar and brown sugar.

Mix in cinnamon, cloves, Cream of  Wheat, baking powder, walnuts, coconut and milk.

Stir in the eggs, 2 spoons at a time.

Spread into a well-greased pan.

Bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes until well browned.  Let stand for 5 minutes.

To make the honey syrup, mix the sugar, water, honey and lemon juice in a pain and bring to a boil.

Pour Hot Honey Syrup over cake with a tablespoon.  Cover and let stand until all the syrup is absorbed.  Serve cold with sweetened whip cream or just sprinkle chopped nuts, coconut flakes or cherries over honey syrup.

"Hamburgers Plain and Fancy" - Hamburgers stuffed with Onion and Cheese Filling - National Cheeseburger Day!

Date I made this recipe:  September 18, 2017 – National Cheeseburger Day

Hamburgers Plain and Fancy by Ceil Dyer

Published by Grosset & Dunlap

© 1968

Purchased at Bonnie Slotnick Cookbooks, NYC

Recipe:  Hamburger (p. 56) stuffed with Onion Cheese Filling (p. 58)

People, I was all giddy with excitement for National Cheeseburger Day, not only because I love cheeseburgers, but I had just purchased this cookbook – Hamburgers Plain and Fancy – from Bonnie Slotnick Cookbooks in NY and thought myself all set and ready to go for The.Big.Day.

Turns out I was not all set and ready to go for the Big Day.  Why?

Apparently, cheeseburgers are the red-haired stepchild of the burger world and therefore were not included in this 86-page book.  Not one single recipe.  I checked several times under "cheese" and under "cheeseburger" and nothing.  I was gobsmacked.

There were though, a few recipes for cheese-filled burgers and some for burgers topped with several ingredients including cheese slices. Would these do?  I needed to do some research and so to the internet I went.

It took me two seconds to find a "cheeseburger" definition.  Per Wiki, "A cheeseburger is a hamburger topped with cheese.  Traditionally, the slice of cheese is placed on top of the meat patty, but the burger can include many variations in structure, ingredients, and composition."

In the world of cooking, this explanation was sufficient for me to go ahead and explore other cheeseburger options. That said, my choices were still limited.  Let's chat about that by looking first at the Table of Contents where our choices were:

• Finger Burgers
• Fork Burgers
• Filled Burgers

Those were the burger options.  There's a section called Go Withs i.e. side dishes, and then a final chapter of Menus and Meals.

That concludes our look at the table of contents.

The author offers no explanation for "Finger Burgers," but I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest to you that he meant hamburgers you can pick up and eat although technically and physically, that would make it a handburger hamburger instead of a "Finger Burger."  Sorry, I could not resist saying that.

Options in the "Fork Burger" category ranged from a "Borscht Burger" – p. 15, to a "Suzy Wong Burger" – p. 19 (There is just something "wrong" about the "Wong" burger!), to a "Gandhi Burger" (cabbage and chutney) – p. 36 to a "Healthy Ham-Burgers" – p. 25

This last one amuses.  Ingredients are mushrooms and spinach leaves which are good and healthy, mixed pickles which are interesting and then ground beef plus a small jar of Smithfield ham spread which are not necessarily healthy.  This recipe's a head-scratcher for sure.

In the "Fork Burgers" category, we have [Hamburger] "Au Poivre" (peppercorns, wine, cognac) – p. 46, a "Sicilian Joe," – p. 52, which is basically a Sloppy Joe recipe with anchovies, and "Cook at the Table Party Skillet Burgers" – p. 54-55

Jumping ahead, the "Go Withs" are all side dishes, many of which sounded great (potatoes, beans, etc.) but we are celebrating National Cheeseburger Day, not National "Go With" Day so there it is.

This brings us back to the "Filled Burger" category from which I selected my recipe. 

There were a grand total of 15 recipes for filled burgers and what the author called "look under" burgers which are burgers with various toppings instead of filling. Let's examine them:

• Mushroom Filling – mushrooms, butter and cream but no cheese
• Creole Filling – onion, celery, green pepper but no cheese
• Roquefort Filling – Roquefort cheese and heavy cream
• Tomato Olive Filling – green olives and tomatoes but no cheese
• Bacon Filling  - bacon, sweet pickles, mustard and mayo but no cheese
• Almond Filling – almonds, cream cheese and cream.  Almonds? I can't even imagine that. Also, cream cheese is not "cheese" cheese as contemplated by the National Cheeseburger people.
• Onion Cheese Filling – sharp cheese, chopped onion, mayo and Tabasco.  This is the one I made.
• Walnut Filling – walnuts, horseradish, mayo but no cheese.  Again – walnuts?
• Feta Cheese Filling – feta cheese, black olives, chives, cream.  This one was tempting but we passed on it.
• Burgers "Look Under" – 1 – cream, avocado, pimento, topped with Cheddar cheese
• Burgers "Look Under" – 2 – liverwurst, corn relish, chili sauce and mild American cheese
• Burgers "Look Under" – 3 – tomatoes, garlic, thyme, other seasonings, Mozzarella cheese
• Burgers "Look Under" – 4 – raisins, whiskey, other stuff, Gruyere cheese.  Raisins? In a burger? Hahahahaha. (By the way, this is more like a patty melt than a burger.)
• Burgers "Look Under" – 5 – chopped peanuts, Monterey Jack cheese

Hmm, those are some kind of burger ingredients, am I right?  Shudder.

Now given our theme – cheeseburgers –you would think that I would go with either "Look Under Burgers 1 or 3, as both called for cheese on top, but I just wasn't feeling them so I went with a cheese-stuffed burger instead.  Well, what can I say except it's fun to go rogue!

Although this was one of the easiest recipes I've ever assembled, I had to deduct points from my own efforts for appearance as I did not properly seal the burgers and some of the filling oozed out.  In fact, I commented to Andy that this would likely have gotten me chopped on Chopped!  The taste was great though, and that's what counts.

A slight change I made to the recipe was to comply with Andy's request to sauté the onions first.  He didn't want to taste a bunch of raw onion and neither did I.

This then, concludes my report "What I made on National Cheeseburger Day."  Technically, it wasn't a cheeseburger as we know it, but it was a burger and cheese was involved so there you go.  Enjoy!

Hamburger stuffed with Onion Cheese Filling – serves 8

For the hamburger

2 pounds ground beef

1 ½ teaspoons salt

3 tablespoons heavy cream

For the filling

2 tablespoons crumbled sharp cheese

2 tablespoons chopped onion

1 tablespoon mayonnaise

2-3 drops Tabasco sauce

To make the hamburger patties, mix meat with salt and cream.  Shape into sixteen patties half as thick as usual.  Combine the filling ingredients until well-blended. Put two patties together with filling between, making eight burgers.  Press edges together.  (Ann's Note:  I guess I did not press mine hard enough before the cheese oozed out.  Not that I'm complaining, but I wish I would have nailed it.  Also, make sure your cheese crumbles are pretty tiny as this will help keep the cheese inside the burger.)  Broil or pan fry as usual.

Split rolls and heat in the oven.  Place a patty on roll bottom and cover with top half of the roll.

"The Firefighter's Cookbook - Award-Winning Recipes From a Fire-Fighting Chef" by John Sineno - Chicken Marsala - 9/11/2017

Date I made this recipe:  September 11, 2017 – 16^th Anniversary of 9/11

The Firefighter's Cookbook – Award-winning Recipes from a Fire-Fighting Chef by John Sineno (Engine 58, NYC)

Published by Vintage Books

ISBN: 0-394-74429-2; © 1986

Purchased at Bonnie Slotnick Cookbooks, NYC

Recipe:  Chicken Marsala – p. 19 – submitted by Jim Sherwood, Ladder 19 (Bronx, NY)

On 9/11/2001, 343 members of the FDNY (Fire Department New York) died in the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center Twin Towers.

On 8/1/2017, I purchased this cookbook at Bonnie Slotnick Cookbooks in New York City's West Village with, I have to admit, the intention on cooking from this on 9/11/17, the 16^th observance of the fall of the Twin Towers.  It's uncanny how many times over the years that I've discovered and purchased a cookbook just when I need it.

When I noticed that this book was published in 1986 (5 years before 9/11), I decided that I simply had to know if any of the firefighters and related personnel who submitted recipes for this book perished when the towers fell.  I found two similar sources on the internet and so book in hand, I started my search, always fearful that I would find a "match."

I am relieved to report that not a single name in this book appeared on the list.  That said, we continue to mourn the fallen from that horrible, horrible day.

For the record, my small hometown in Michigan has a volunteer fire department.  Although they were best known for putting on a fantastic water fight every 4^th of July, they continue to do this work because they love it and really, if you are going to be a firefighter, it is essential that you love what you do!

In 1986 when he wrote The Firefighter's Cookbook, author John Sineno, was a twenty-three year veteran with Engine 58, and a two-time first prize winner in annual cooking competitions among NYC firehouses; he retired in 1992.

Sineno's cookbook is filled with recipes from fellow firefighters across NYC (and a few from firefighters in NJ); administrators such as commissioners, assistant commissioners, and even a secretary to an administrator; a medic; a counsel to the FDNY, and a chaplain.  

As you might imagine, some of the recipe yields in this cookbook are huge as they are intended to feed firehouse staff.  Although I often divide recipes in half, breaking down a recipe that serves 8 or more is fraught with peril.  When you end up using "1/16^th teaspoon" of an ingredient, you have to ask yourself "Why bother?"  Sometimes, the taste itself also suffers and I wanted to avoid that which is why I shelved the otherwise delicious-sounding "Tortellini Meatball Soup" that served 16-20 people.  (Apologies to Capt. Pat Buttino, Engine 263.)

Recipe yields aside, I liked this cookbook because it was pretty compact and the recipes all sounded really good.  Your chapter options are:

• Main Courses
• Pastas and Soups (I would expect nothing less than a "pasta" chapter of an NYC cookbook)
• Side Dishes
• Desserts

Recipes up for consideration were:

• "Seafood Newburg" – p. 10
• "New Orleans Jambalaya"- p. 23
• "Pepper Steak" – p. 29 (This calls for six pounds of skirt steak.  Six???)
• "Artichoke Pie" – p. 59
• "Scalloped Potatoes and Onions" – p. 105
• "Pistachio Mousse" – p. 139

 And honestly, aside from a few fishes dishes (I don't like fish), there didn't seem to be a clunker in the bunch.  That has to be a first.

Initially, I was gung-ho on the "Scalloped Potatoes and Onions" but I wasn't sure I would get the rich, creaminess I am used to with this recipe and didn't know what to make about the inclusion of mayonnaise. 

Then I was thinking about the "Seafood Newburg" but it seemed like too heavy of a dish for what I was looking for plus it was topped with Swiss Cheese and that didn't work for me. In fact, I don't think that is a traditional topping.

So hmmm....what to make, what to make....okay, Chicken Marsala, final answer.  In fact, I was quite chuffed that I selected this because I had Marsala wine on hand so I used it and then realized afterwards that it was "dry" Marsala wine, not "sweet."

This explains much.  I mean, the flavor wasn't bad but it definitely did not taste like other Chicken Marsala dishes I have known and loved.  No worries:  The next day, I stopped at the liquor store, bought the "correct" Marsala and then added it to my leftovers!

Before I go, I wanted to note that 57 firefighters and related personnel contributed to this cookbook. I imagine many, maybe even most, are now retired but it should never be taken fore granted that it takes some kind of courage for these firefighters, and those who lost their lives on 9/11/2001, to run willingly into danger when others are fleeing;  for this, I salute you.

N.B.  Right after I published this blog, I realized that I had my own little fire marshal story to share. 

In 1997 or thereabouts, I worked for Wells Fargo in one of the taller office buildings in downtown Minneapolis.  Wells Fargo needed to have volunteer floor fire marshals for each floor that the employees occupied and so I became one for my floor. I even got an official hat! 

The floor fire marshals' job was to make sure employees left via the stairwell (never the elevator) and to check for stragglers.  Floor marshals were always the last ones to leave.

That year, we had several drills, some planned and some not planned, and actually one microwave fire on another floor that caused us all to exit the building, so I was a busy gal. To help me out, I enlisted the aid of a fellow co-worker, whose name I can't recall but let's call her "Sandy."  Sandy helped me do a sweep of the floor before we both left via the stairwell. This gal was really funny but took her job seriously.  After one event, she no sooner saluted me and said "Perimeter clear, sir," when a guy came running around the corner and down the stairs.

"Hey! You!  Where did you come from!"  She was so mad that she had missed him, sneaky bastard!  

Now, the interesting things about fire drills at this time (pre-9/11) was that all floor marshals were told specifically not to force anybody to leave, and in fact, one guy refused to go because he was in the middle of something. Lucky for him, it was a drill and not the real thing.

Post-9/11, the thought that anybody would remain in place, drill or no drill, seems ridiculous if not downright dangerous. I have to wonder too, if companies have changed their informal policy and now require everybody to leave; I hope so.  Remember when employees in the second tower were told all was well and they should return to their desks? (I believe the "all-clear" command though, came from the building management and not each individual company housed in the tower.) I pretty sure I've read that the vast majority of people who defied that command and kept walking down the stairs to safety, lived to tell about it.

If this happened to me today, I believe I too, would skedaddle, but only after ensuring everyone else was okay, of course.  Once a floor fire marshal, always a floor fire marshal!

Chicken Marsala – Servings: 4 (Ann's Note:  Even half the recipe made quite a lot) – recipe submitted by Jim Sherwood, Ladder 19 (Bronx, NY)

2 pounds chicken cutlets, pounded

½ pound butter

¼ cup olive oil

Flour

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 pound mushrooms

1 shallot 1 ½ cups sweet Marsala wine

1 bunch parsley, minced

2 lemons, halved

Clean chicken cutlets, remove excess fat.  Cut into medallion-size pieces.  Melt ¼ pound butter in a skillet and add olive oil.  Dredge chicken in flour seasoned with salt and pepper.  Shake off excess and sauté to golden brown.  Place chicken in an ovenproof pan and set aside.

Separate mushroom caps from stems.  Mince shallot and mushroom stems, quarter or slice mushroom caps.  Melt remaining butter and sauté shallots and mushrooms, and cook until mushrooms release their juice.  Remove from heat and add Marsala and 1 tablespoon minced parsley.  Season to taste and simmer for 5 minutes.

While mixture is simmering, squeeze juice of 2 lemons over chicken.  Pour sauce mixture over chicken, cover, and cook at 350°F for 15- 20 minutes.  Garnish with parsley.  Serve with noodles Alfredo.

"The Hungry Fan's Game Day Cookbook" - Cheeseburger Soup - NFL season begins!

Date I made this recipe:  Sunday, September 10, 2017 – NFL Season Begins!

The Hungry Fan's Game Day Cookbook by Daina Falk

Published by Oxmoor House

ISBN: 13: 978-0-8487-4583-7; © 2016

Purchased at: Half-Price Books

Recipe:  Cheeseburger Soup – p. 67

Already?  In these parts, we just finished the annual Minnesota State Fair, and then there was Labor Day and yet despite evidence to the contrary, such as training camps and pre-season games, it's time for our favorite teams to hit the gridiron as pro football season begins.

I'm still stuck in summer mode and even after fall commences on September 22, I'll still be stuck in summer mode.  And then I'll be stuck in "I can't wait for summer" mode for the rest of the year but that's another story for another day.

So right on schedule, high school, college, and the pros all commenced firing on the field last weekend and now we are off and running with our usual and customary hair-pulling, teeth-gnashing, and finger-crossing until February when Super Bowl 52 will be played in Minneapolis.  This is not to say that my rival team, the Vikings, will be in it but it will be played here.

At any rate, faithful readers know that I am a Green Bay Packers Shareholder which is to say, Owner, meaning I wanted to start my guys off on the right foot as this season gets underway.  My goal for using The Hungry Fan's Game Day Cookbook was to find a dish befitting my team and by page 67, I found it:  Cheeseburger Soup (For "Cheeseheads" everywhere, "cheesehead" being the world's nickname for Packers fans.  Wisconsin.  Cheese.  Get it?)

What I really loved about this soup is that it included also some spinach and yes, I could be giddy about it because spinach is good for you, but the green offset the yellow of the cheese and green and gold are the Packers colors.  Signs point to "yes" to this being a good omen.

So far, I've talked about football, but this cookbook is intended for hungry fan's of any sport.  In fact, Ms. Falk's father was an NBA sports agent.  I cannot say that pro basketball floats my boat, but if I was a fan, then naturally, I might want some game day food.  At any rate, she almost followed in her father's footsteps to become a sports agent, but switched it up and created instead, this cookbook and a website called Hungry Fan (www.hungryfan.com) that includes a blog, recipes, and other tips.  She also refers to "Tailgating" as "Fangating" which I have to say is more fitting these days.

Speaking of tailgating,  I have to confess that I've only tailgated a few times, mostly when the Twins or Vikings, or even the former soccer team played in the old Met Stadium in Bloomington, MN, where the Mall of America now stands.

If you are horrified that I went to a Vikings game, you should know that all games I attended (no matter what the sport) were all company-related events and it all happened decades ago. 

In my opinion, tailgating at a company function is boring.  In fact, it's almost non-existent.  If we had food at all, it was usually under a big tent and sometimes even in a special "company"-related section and not with the other fans.  Also?  Imbibing alcohol was often frowned upon even though this was still the age of the three-martini lunch.  I found it somewhat hilarious to be whooping it up at a game with my co-workers whilst sipping a soda.  Also, when the old Met Stadium was torn down, the location of the new stadium (now torn down), the Metrodome, had little land on which to tailgate, defeating the whole purpose of going to a football game...well, besides the game itself!

Now tailgating at Lambeau is an art as the entire parking lot is filled with fans and food.  Stories are rife of tailgaters offering food to passerby's but alas, we never got a morsel.  We didn't care because it was just fun to be there and I'm pretty sure most tailgaters say the same.  For those who party at home, in some ways this cookbook is skewed towards you as some of the dishes seem to require kitchen availability which of course is hard to emulate in a parking lot unless you are a southern school in which case, nothing gets in the way of these fans' tailgating.  Nothing. 

Okay then, hungry fans, here are your chapter choices:

• Starters
• Soups, Salads, & Flatbreads
• Sandwiches & Burgers
• Barbecue & Other Mains
• Sides
• Desserts
• Drinks

Let me just say that while there is nothing wrong with salads at a tailgate or game-day party, I expected to see at least one coleslaw "salad" recipe in this book and there weren't any; that's a demerit, folks.

And Flatbreads?  No.  Flatbreads on game day are just too precocious.  In my mind's eye, I'm trying to picture a bunch of hockey fans eating flatbreads but my brain just won't go there.  Yet another demerit awarded.

Okay, so let's back up a bit to see what fare she features in these categories.  In the Starter chapter, we have  "Shepherd's  Pie Quesadilla Bites" (Hmmm....not sure about that one); "Wisconsin-Style Fried Cheese Curds  ("On Wisconsin!")," plus your basic wings and things, some of which though, are prefaced with the word "healthy" in front of them, as in "Healthy Jalapeno Poppers."

Healthy?  On game day?  Surely, she jests?  Demerit!

In the Soup, Salads, & Flatbread category we have this dish:  "Bacon Brussels Sprouts Soup."

I want you to let that sink in for a minute.  Bacon = good.  Soup ("is good food") = good.  Bacon + soup = tasty!  Even Brussels sprouts on their own = mostly good (depending on how they are prepared), but in a soup?  Never.  Never!  Takes some kind of balls to put that recipe in this book, that does!

Can you imagine hosting a party at your house and offering up "Bacon Brussels Sprouts Soup" to a group of hungry fans?  Aside from the fact that Brussels sprouts are green and the Packers' colors are green and gold, this dish has zero appeal and then there's the smell.  I'm definitely going to have to ding the author for this; we are now up to four demerits.

Happily, she has other recipes of interest:  "Baked Potato Soup" (Now that's more like it!); chili, or even "Kentucky Tomato Bourbon Soup," (When is bourbon in something not good?) but then she goes off-road again with recipes for "Chilled Avocado Soup," which is no doubt delicious unless it is -10 outside; lentil salad (Merciful heavens...no), or my favorite (not really) "Kale Quinoa Salad."

Let me explain something to you:  I have plenty of friends who would love some of the above recipes, and would probably celebrate the "Brussels Sprouts Soup," but you are as unlikely to find these people in my house at game day as you would seeing a moose waltzing down my city street. (Alaskan cities though, are another matter.)

Moving on, in the Sandwiches & Burgers chapter, we have a recipe for a "Bologna Cheesesteak" which honestly sounds pretty good, some hero sandwiches and some decent burgers and then this:  "Bite-Size Cucumber Sandwiches."

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.....Might as well have friends over for high tea if you're going to make that crap recipe.  Total demerits:  five.

Let's see how we fare in our next category, Barbecue & Other Mains, shall we? 

I am happy and relieved to report that she was back on track with recipes for ribs, more ribs, pork, pulled pork, and even fish and chips, not that I ever associate a sports event with fish and chips, but whatever.  (Exception:  sporting events in England and the rest of the British empire.)

The Sides chapter is not bad although my eyebrows raised at the inclusion of "Cassava Pie," a Bermudan recipe that calls for 4 pounds cassava which is apparently, a "woody shrub," similar to a potato or carrots although don't quote me on that.  I just have to say this though: "shrubs?") This dish might have been okay, except it called for 2 cups sugar, some nutmeg, and some vanilla extract.  Thank you, no.  Also?  How is this a side dish? 

 Finally, I do not have any complaints for the last two chapters, Desserts and then Drinks except again, I'm not picturing most sports fans sipping a "Watermelon Cooler" unless they are at Wimbledon, or a polo match.  Just sayin'.

This brings me back then, to the perfect choice for my Packers and hopefully your team as well:  Cheeseburger Soup.   What is not to like about cheese and burgers?  (Well, except for those who are vegetarian or vegan in which case, you are exempted from this quiz.)

Assuming you are a person with whom this recipe resonates, let's continue on.

For once, I decided to make a full recipe (Serves 6) and was glad I did because the leftovers were great.  As you might imagine, you cook ground beef, add in some other things, make your creamy broth and ta-da!  Just think of this as a deconstructed cheeseburger and you'll be good.

Let me just observe that I don't think you need a sporting event to make this soup as it was mighty tasty, game or no game.

Cheeseburger Soup – Serves 6

1 ¼ pounds ground beef

4 slices bacon

4 tablespoons butter

½ medium onion, chopped

3 stalks celery, diced

8 ounces sliced baby portobello mushrooms

2 cups tightly packed baby spinach

4 cups chicken broth

1 teaspoon sea salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 teaspoon dried parsley, plus more for garnish

¼ cup all-purpose flour

6 slices Monterey Jack, cheese (Ann's Note:  I substituted Havarti.)

¼ cup ketchup

1 cup half-and-half (Ann's Note:  I had milk and cream on hand so I mixed them together.)

¼ cup sour cream, optional

1 ripe tomato, chopped for garnish, optional

Cook the beef in a large Dutch oven over medium-high until it browns evenly, about 6 minutes.  Drain and transfer to a plate.

Cook the bacon in the same Dutch oven over medium until it gets crispy, 5 to 7 minutes.  Transfer to a cutting board to cool, and drain all but 2 tablespoons of the bacon fat from the pan.  Chop the cooled bacon into small, crunchy bits, and set aside.

Using the same Dutch oven, add 1 tablespoon of the butter to the remaining bacon fat (reserve the other 3 T), and stir in the onions and celery.  Sauté until the onions become translucent, about 4 minutes.  Add the mushrooms, and cook for 5 to 6 minutes, until tender and lightly browned.  Add the spinach.  (It will start to wilt amid the hot veggies.)  Pour into the broth; add the beef, salt, pepper, and parsley, and bring to a simmer.  Cover and simmer for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, melt the remaining 3 tablespoons butter in a small skillet over medium.  Add the flour, and cook for 1 minute while stirring.  The roux should start to bubble, signaling that it's ready.

Add the roux to the soup and bring to a boil for 3 to 4 minutes, stirring well to incorporate the roux.  Reduce the heat, and simmer for another 10 minutes.  Add the cheese, ketchup, reserved bacon, and half-and-half.  Stir well, and simmer for another 5 minutes.

Remove the soup from the heat, let sit for 3 to 5 minutes, and then stir in the sour cream, if desired.

Serve with a sprinkle of additional parsley and the chopped tomatoes for a little color, if you like.

The Hot Dog Cookbook - Hot Dog Bean Bake, a la Kraut - Labor Day 2017

Date I made this recipe:  September 4, 2017 – Labor Day

The Hot Dog Cookbook – Frankfurter – Weiner – Franks – Coneys by William I. Kaufman

Published by Doubleday & Company Inc.

© 1966

Purchased at Bonnie Slotnick Cookbooks, NYC

Recipe: Hot Dog Bean Bake, a la Kraut – p. 59

Before I go one step further, I must point out to you that William I. Kaufman published many cookbooks including this one:  The Catholic Cookbook. This is the first time I've seen an "official" cookbook meant to help Catholics cope with dietary restrictions during Lent and other church holidays, and not the usual and customary spiral bound book published by churches everywhere.  I'm intrigued.  Of course, I have to have it, but right now, it will cost me a cool $50.00 to buy it off Amazon so I'm going to see if I can find it for less; forgive me "Father."

Also, I love how the book is stamped inside "Louise Adelia Read Memorial Library Hancock, New York."  My husband and I returned recently from a road trip through NY state and were not far from Hancock.  A couple of days after leaving that area, we went into the New York City where I purchased this hot dog cookbook.  I love how that all accidentally came together.

Once we got home from our trip the first week of August, summer sped by as it is wont to do and like it or not (not), Labor Day was upon us and which meant I had to decide to observe or not observe Labor Day with a cookbook.  I've mentioned before that cooking on major holidays is a challenge for me as I have too many cookbook that might fit a particular observance but not this year! 

This year, I was updating my cookbook list with my newly-acquired titles, and as soon as I saw The Hotdog Cookbook, I let out a sigh of relief as it was the perfect thing for Labor Day because as we know, Labor Day signals the unofficial end of summer and therefore hot dogs.  Please note though, that summer ain't over until it's over which is Friday, September 22, the first official day of autumn.  I cringe as I write this!

Okay, I've established that this year's Labor Day "cookbook" was a gimme, but finding a recipe was not easy given the breadth of my hot dog recipe choices: 

• Appetizers
• Soups
• Main Dishes
• Sandwiches
• Salads (Salads?)
• Cookout

Appetizer hot dog offerings were the usual and customary cocktail dogs and chafing dish dogs along with "Gourmet Hot Dog Dip" – p. 5 and "Hot Dog and Cheese Canapés" – p. 5.  Pass.

The Soups chapter gave me pause with recipes for "Hot Dog Vegetable Chowder" – p. 9, and "Hot Pot of Barley and Hot Dogs" – p. 9.  Again, no.

We'll come back to Main Dishes so we can continue on to Sandwiches.  Happily, this chapter is back on track with recipes for "Chili Topped Hot Dogs" – p. 69, and "Coney De Luxe" – p. 69.  I almost made the Coney recipe but it called for ¼ wheat germ and I don't know what that adds to the recipe, but it caused me to put it in the "no" pile.

Two recipes from that chapter that were also out were "Hot Dog Spread" – p. 73 as the mixture of ground hot dogs, chopped hard-boiled eggs and salad dressing plus a few more ingredients sounded completely unappetizing, as did the recipe for "Hot Dog and Cucumber Spread" – p. 73  Ick.

Speaking of "Ick," the Salad chapter gave me the most pause.  Here, it seems like the guy is just throwing hot dogs into salads because he could and not because it makes sense. 

As an example, the recipe for "Cabbage, Apple, and Hot Dog Salad" – p. 77, is basically a coleslaw with apples, green peppers, mayo and hot dogs.  A "Baked Hot Dog Potato Salad" – p. 7, is a casserole more than a salad, and it's basically a hot potato salad with green beans (green beans?) and hot dogs.

This then, forced my hand back to the Main Dishes chapter with the hopes that I could find something that wasn't ridiculous to make.

"It was the best of [hot dog] times, it was the worst of [hot dog ] times."

"Hot Dog Pilaf" – p. 17, are you kidding me?  Hot dog "pilaf?"  Eesh.  "Asparagus and Hot Dog Stroganoff" – p. 18 is another one that bit the dust.  I just...sigh.  And "Curried Macaroni and Hot Dogs" – p. 39 is ridiculous.  Just ridiculous.  The winner of the "Are you kidding me?" contest, and it is easy to see why, is a recipe for "Hot Dog Crown Roast" – p. 38, where 18 hot dogs are arranged so as to resemble a pork crown roast, complete with the traditional stuffing in the center.

Never will I ever....

Now I know that I was "asking" for it by purchasing this hot-dog focused cookbook, but still people.  Still. 

Happily, a few more sensible choices were left but even then, I was just not feeling some of the options and for once, neither was Andy.  I mean, they were okay but they were also the usual and customary:  "Barbecued Hot Dogs" – p. 32, not to be confused with "Hot Dog Barbecue" on p. 45.  I could have gone with "Hot Dogs with Pork 'N" Beans" – p. 57, but frankly (pun intended) my mother's dish was better.

In the end, we settled for what I call "Hot Dogs, Deconstructed," which is to say Hot Dog Bean Bake, A La Kraut. To me, this was the best of both worlds.  You had your hotdog, you had your baked beans and you had a sauerkraut topping all rolled into one.  It seemed perfect and it was nearly perfect except the sour flavor of the sauerkraut completely overwhelmed the other ingredients.  If I made this dish on Food Network's Chopped, I would have been chopped for not showcasing the other two ingredients, hot dogs and beans.

Still, all is not lost here because you can save the day with few adjustments.  At least I think you can!  The recipe calls for these ingredients:  hot dogs, pork and beans, chili sauce, sauerkraut and dill weed.  Were I to make this again, I think I would have added some brown sugar to the mixture and possibly even a small amount of mustard and ketchup, particularly ketchup to offset the sourness of the kraut.  Plus, the amount of kraut you use here (1 pound, or in my case, a half a pound) is way more than most of us would ever put on our hot dogs and that is what prevented it from being a great dish. It wasn't bad, but wow, my lips puckered!

Nevertheless, I have once again completed the compulsory portion of our Labor Day weekend was is to say, I made hot dogs!  Until next year....

Hot Dog Bean Bake, A La Kraut – makes 5 servings

1 pound hot dogs

2 cans (1 pound each) pork and beans with tomato sauce

¼ cup chili sauce

1 can (1 pound) sauerkraut, drained

½ teaspoon dill weed

Cut 5 hot dogs into bite-size pieces and combine with beans and chili sauce in a 1 ½-quart casserole.  Cover with sauerkraut and sprinkle with dill weed.  Bake in 350° oven for 30 minutes.  Top with whole hot dogs and bake additional 15 minutes.

Ann's Note:  As suggested above, I think the addition of some brown sugar and perhaps even some mustard and ketchup might help cut the tanginess of the sauerkraut.

"Caramel Knowledge" by the late, great local food writer Al Sicherman - Black Bottom (as in chocolate) Banana Cream Pie

Date I made this recipe:  September 4, 2017 – A tribute to a funny food writer

Caramel Knowledge – Bostess Bupcakes, Peanut Butter Coffee, Herring in a Cloud, Wienie Zucchini, and More Food and Culinary Musing for the Twisted Mind (Expanded Edition) by Al Sicherman

Published by Harper & Row, Publishers

0-06-096232-1; © 1988

Recipe: Black-Bottom Banana Cream Pie – p. 128

First, some of you may not be old enough to get the pun in the title:  Carnal Knowledge was a 1971 movie starring (singer/songwriter) Art Garfunkel, Ann-Margaret, Jack Nicholson, and Candice Bergman.  The story takes place at Amherst College in the late 40's, and the plot centers around an exploration of sexual mores at the time.  It also focuses on a contest between Nicholson and Garfunkel to see who can bag the most babes. 

That's about all I know of this movie (thank you, internet) but I do recall that the movie raised eyebrows, even back when it was released in the free-wheeling 70's. 

Second, the writer of today's featured cookbook, "Caramel" Knowledge, Al Sicherman, passed away last week and I am really sad about this.  In observance of his passing, I give you this cookbook.

"Uncle Al," as he was known, was a food columnist for the local newspaper, StarTribune.  Well mostly food.  Sometimes he included stories about other things:  Hmmm, I wonder who that remind me of?

Al's columns were hilarious.  I used to just laugh out loud when I read them, probably because I always felt we shared the same perspective of things which is to say, if something went wrong, surely there was a comedic moment to mine;  Al did a lot of mining.

During the course of his 26-year tenure with the "Strib," Al wrote two columns, his main one, sample titles of which you will see below, and a second one, "Tidbits," and authored two books, Caramel Knowledge and Uncle Al's Geezer Salad.  The Strib noted that even after Al retired from the Strib, he continued to write the "Tidbits" column until 2016.  Very impressive, Al!

All this from a man who started his career as an electrical engineer!  True story.

I'm very happy that Al switched careers (engineering was apparently not for him) and got a masters in journalism so he could go on to write his column.  And while I enjoyed his "Tibits" column, a column where he commented on new food products, it was the longer column that drew me.

Caramel Knowledge is a curated collection of Al's columns.  Like the book's title, the chapters are equally hilarious and often tongue-in-check.  Here's a sampling of his narrative style: 

"Carrots, you will no doubt remember hearing, are supposed to give you good eyesight.  I can attest to the truth of that contention.  I was always able to spot carrots being prepared – even at very great distances – and try not to be home when they were finally served."

His "chapter," Popovers (and Bagels) is funny because of the ending(s), titled "Follow-Up;" "More Follow-Up;" "Still More Follow-Up," and "Final Follow-Up."

Uncle Al was very thorough.

Right from the start, the book's Table of Contest gives us a glimpse of more humor to come. 

• "Using Up Parsley"
• "Things That Go Bump in the Oven"
• "Food for the Twisted Mind"
• "Great Culinary Expectations"
• "An Upper Midwest Festival of Hot Dishes"

 You have no idea how much I wanted to make something from the last column seeing as how "hot dishes" (casseroles) are revered in this state, but alas, nothing tripped my trigger.  A "Tuna (or Crab) Appetizer Hot Dish" came close, but no cigar which was unusual for me as I like tuna and crab.  I might have gone with the "Chicken Salad Hot Dish," but paused when I saw that mandarin oranges, a staple of a cold chicken salad, were to be arranged on top of the casserole and then baked for 20 to 25 minutes, ew.  Warm oranges?  I'm thinking "no!"

Here though, are some recipes that I thought worthy of my time:

• "Chocolate Bread Pudding" – p. 14
• "Eggplant Casserole Deluxe" – p. 27
• "Cornbread-Topped Bean and Bratwurst Bake" – p. 34
• "Mocha Brownies" – p. 35
• "Six-Legume Soup" – p. 53
• "Arroz Con Pollo" – p. 182

 And then there are the "also-rans" otherwise known as "No Freaking Way."

• Herring in a cloud (of blended sour cream and yogurt) – p. 135 (from the Food In A Cloud chapter).  Cloud or no cloud, I don't "do" herring.
• Kippers (Cured herring.  Brits eat it for breakfast – gaaaaa!) – p. 187 (from the chapter, A British-Mystery Dinner.  How appropriate as it remains a mystery to me why the Brits enjoy the food they do!)
• Steak and Kidney Pie – p. 189 (same chapter above) Never, ever.
• Spirals of Starch (lasagna noodles + mashed potatoes + cheese + butter) – p. 212 (from the chapter, Food for the Twisted Mind) These ingredients would be fine if sold separately but not so much when combined. 
• Cold Lime Cream Soup – p. 216 (from Great Culinary Expectations) Maybe it's just me, but the "lime" in this equation is a record-scratch moment.  Now, lime and tequila, that's another story!

I am happy to report that the recipe we selected, "Black-Bottom Banana Cream Pie" (p. 127-128), was delicious.  This might have been the first time I ever made the "cream" portion of a cream pie and was very happy with the outcome even though I had way more filling than I had room; my finished pie looked like a volcano!

Although this recipe is fairly easy, it will take a bit of time to assemble as you have to melt the chocolate, scald and add some milk, then eggs, then mix again, etc. but it was worth it.  The only minor critique I have is that I pictured the chocolate layer mixing in with the banana cream layer for some total creamy goodness but that is not what happened.  After refrigeration, the chocolate layer sort of separated from the banana layer and so I felt like I was eating two different desserts, not that I cared but that's what it felt like.

No worries.  We love bananas, we love creamy custard fillings, and we love chocolate. I could have done without the pie crust but that's just me:  I'm also a person who prefers frosting over cake, no apologies.

In conclusion, you were a good man, Uncle Al, and I'm glad I purchased your cookbook a long time ago so I had it at the ready to pay you tribute.  And how fitting really, that your book's title is Caramel Knowledge, seeing as how my last attempt to make caramel went haywire, leaving me with scars. After the tears were gone though, I laughed about the incident because as you know, food and kitchen disasters can be funny.  Really funny.  Thanks for sharing your humor with us.

Black-Bottom Banana Cream Pie – makes one 9-inch pie; serves 6-8

Bottom Filling:

1 ½ one-ounce squares unsweetened chocolate (Ann's Note:  A while back, baking chocolate makers switched from one-ounce squares to ¼ ounce squares.  Although I am often math-challenged, this means you will need 6 of these little squares!)

6 tablespoons milk (Ann's Note:  You'll also need another 2 ½ cups milk for the filling)

1 egg yolk

2 tablespoons sugar

1 ½ teaspoons cornstarch

1/8 teaspoon salt

1 baked 9-inch pie shell

Banana Filling:

½ cup sugar

6 tablespoons flour

¼ teaspoon salt

2 ½ cups milk

1 egg plus 1 egg yolk

1 tablespoon butter

½ teaspoon vanilla

3 ripe banana's (or bananas)

½ cup heavy cream, whipped

Prepare the bottom filling:

Melt the chocolate in a small saucepan; set aside.  Scald the milk in a saucepan. (Ann's Note:  To scale milk, bring milk to a near-boil (i.e. bubbles start to form), then pull it off the stove.) 

In a mixing bowl, beat together the egg yolk, sugar, cornstarch, and salt.  Gradually beat in the scalded milk.

Pour the mixture into the saucepan in which the milk was scalded and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until the custard is smooth and thick – don't boil it.  (Ann's Note:  It seemed to take an awfully long time to thicken this mixture.  What felt like days was probably 10 minutes; be prepared!)

Stir the melted chocolate and spread over the baked pie shell.

Prepare the banana filling:

Combine the sugar, flour and salt in the top of a double boiler over boiling water.  Gradually stir in the milk and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture is thickened.  Cover and cook 10 minutes more, stirring constantly.

Beat the egg and egg yolk and beat in a small amount of the hot milk mixture.  Lower the heat under the double boiler so that the water stops boiling.

Pour the diluted egg into the hot milk mixture, stirring it in rapidly.  Allow the mixture to cook over the hot water for two minutes, stirring constantly.

Remove the mixture from the heat and stir in the butter and vanilla.  Cool.

Slice 1 banana and arrange on the chocolate layer.  Immediately slice a second banana into the warm custard mixture and pour into the shell.  (If you wait a long time before you cover them, the first banana slices will darken.)  Chill.

Just before serving, whip the cream and pipe or spoon it over the top of the pie.

Slice the last banana and arrange the slices around the edge of the pie, inserting them into the whipped cream at a slight angle.  Serve immediately.