"Martha's Got Nuthin' On Me" - Papa's Shrimp Cocktail - a tongue-in-cheek ode to Martha Stewart and her "fields"

Date I made this recipe:  May 30, 2017 –a tongue-in-cheek ode to Martha Stewart and her "fields."

Martha's Got Nothin' On Me by Dish & Flow

Published by Left Field Ink

ISBN: 0-9664737-0-1; © 1998

Recipe:  Papa's Shrimp Cocktails – p. 41

I often remark that I have a cookbook for everything and I swear, this one was just waiting for me to find it just after I had myself a little hilarious rant about Martha Stewart on Facebook. 

Frequent readers know that I have a love/hate relationship with Ms. Stewart (hereinafter "Real Martha.")  While I appreciate some of her recipes and her cookbooks, she is just a tad precocious, especially when it comes to the "to-do" calendar she calls "Martha's Month," featured in her magazine, Martha Stewart Living.

I think we can all agree that most of Real Martha's to-do's in no way resemble the average persons.  Plus, let's not kid ourselves:  Real Martha has "people" to do these things for her.  ("People. People who need people....are the luckiest people....in the world.....")

This then, is my Facebook post from May 25th which set off the hilarious responses listed below.  You should know that I included a photo of "Martha's Month" from the June issue and some comments below reference Real Martha's other to-do's:

"So while I was waiting to get my hair cut, I looked through Martha Stewart Living and...sigh.  I have a love/hate relationship with this woman and today the needle moved toward "hate."  Why?  Even though you may not be able to read this, please note that on 6/5, her to-do is "mow fields."  Not lawn, or even "field" singular but "fields" plural.  For the record, Andy and I have a lawn and he mows it because I don't mow (allergies).  Martha likely doesn't mow either, but likely not due to allergies.  No, someone like Martha has people to do that for her.  People who need people...And fields. Plural."

Then the replies started:

Ann B:  I came to respect her when she made homekeeping respectable again.  But she does have staff.  I think most everything is easier with staff.

Me:  If I could afford "people," trust me, I'd have "people."  I specifically want someone to dust This Old House and I would be happy.  A friend of mine became a fan when she learned that Martha grew her own grass for her Easter baskets. Might have also smoked some as well.  Just sayin'... (Ann's Note: I got a few chuckles from that one.)

Bonnie M:  "The peasants tend the fields."

Me:  "They do indeed.  They will also be busy on the 15^th [of June] planting the SECOND crop of beets.  I mean really Martha, like one crop of beets isn't sufficient?"

Annette K: "A whole day to clean outdoor light fixtures?  I could clean my one outdoor light fixture in two minutes."

Me: "I don't "do" outdoor fixtures.  Please, they're outdoors, they get rained on and snowed on and that's "clean" enough for moi.  But Martha likely has a billion outdoor fixtures so she would [have her people] dedicate an entire day to cleaning them."

Annette K:  "You'll notice I said 'could' clean."

Jeff H:  "Ann, the solution is within your grasp.  Simply rename Andy "People," and then on 6/5 in your calendar write "Have people mow the field."  Then it should be easier to relate to Martha's Calendar."

Me:  "Well that's hilarious!  But don't forget, it's field(s), not field.  Of course, we have to first find ourselves a lone field and then figure out how to double it.  As always, Martha complicates everything!"

Jen R:  "Ann Verme, front yard is field 1 and back yard is field 2...fields, there you go."

Me:  "And now I can sleep at night.  As always, thanks Jen!"

Alec S:  "I could get by with "stocking up on summer wines"... (Ann's Note:  So could I!)

My friends are nothing if not amusing and creative. I bet Real Martha never thought of some of this stuff!  That said, Real Martha pays attention to details whereas these Martha Wannabes did not.  None of the recipes in the cooked contained a yield, something that absolutely drives me nuts.  Could I make some assumptions based on the amount of ingredients called for?  Yes, but why?  Real Martha would never do that to me.  Or Real Martha's people.  Just sayin'.

Also irksome is that the Table of Contents is filled with cute little chapter names such as "Rabbit Food," "Udder Decadence," and "Flo's Corner" which are all well and good except they don't list what recipes are contained in each one.  This is not good.  Real Martha is frowning.

Although my usual MO is to make main dishes, this time around I was more interested in Appetizers and so selected the shrimp cocktail and folks, let me just say that we were "in the weeds" before we even got started.

The recipe contains all of six ingredients:  Bay Shrimp; cocktail sauce; diced celery; 1 tsp horseradish;  ½ tsp dry mustard, and 2 dashes of black pepper.  We are not told how much shrimp to buy nor how much cocktail sauce to use, but we are told in the narrative that you need ¼ cup of diced celery in the bottom of each shrimp cocktail glass (I used far less).  Since I was serving this with some other food, I didn't want to stuff myself with too much shrimp and so out of the half pound I purchased, I gave us four shrimp each for this serving and we still had some left over.

Now that I figured out the shrimp and the celery, I turned my attention to the sauce which needed some adjustment.  Since the authors didn't say how much sauce to use, I used about a quarter of the bottle, maybe even less.  I was loathe though, to add the amount of horseradish called for in the recipe because shrimp sauce contains horseradish so I adjusted the amount to ½ tablespoon.  I also cut the mustard and pepper in half.  The result was still nasal-clearing so I'm glad I made that call because too much of a good thing like horseradish is still too much. Real Martha would be the first one to say that an excess of horseradish is not in fact, a "good thing."  Real Martha loves "good things."

By the way, should I have scalded my esophagus, Real Martha probably has a cure for that, likely involving planting a large garden of fresh herbs to be used in some fancy schmancy poultice or something because that is what Real Martha does.  Real Martha also pronounces the "h" in "herbs" and she is the only one to do that but then again, this is what separates Real Martha from the Martha Wannabes.

Now you may be asking yourself why I didn't just wait until June 5^th to make this dish as an homage to Real Martha, but keep in mind "I'll" be moving the field(s) that day and won't have time to cook so it's now or never.  Enjoy!

Papa's Shrimp Cocktail- serving size unknown

Bay Shrimp (Ann's Note:  I purchased a half pound – about 20 shrimp)

Cocktail Sauce (Ann's Note:  I used about a quarter of the bottle)

[1/4 cup diced celery per serving]

1 teaspoon horseradish

½ teaspoon dry mustard

2 dashes of black pepper

Prepare a shrimp cocktail for each guest.  Any type of glass will do as long as it's not too tall.  Special shrimp cocktail glasses are the best, though.  If you have some, add some crushed ice to the bottom glass, then place the cocktail glass inside.

Place about ¼ cup of diced celery at the bottom of each shrimp cocktail glass.  Top with shrimp.

Mix cocktail sauce and seasonings.  Spoon on top of shrimp.

"The Martha Stewart Living Christmas Cookbook" - Holiday Frittata - Christmas

Date I made this recipe:  Saturday, December 26^th (intended for Christmas morning)

The Martha Stewart Living Christmas Cookbook – A Collection of Favorite Holiday Recipes from the editors of Martha Stewart Living

Published by:  Oxmoor House

ISBN:  0-8487-2739-8

Recipe:  Holiday Frittata – p. 82

If some of Martha Stewart is good, more is better, right?  So what if I just made a Pork Stew with Fennel and Olives by Martha Stewart for Christmas dinner.  It was from a completely different cookbook so that makes it A-okay to make!

Originally, I perused this cookbook looking for recipes for our annual holiday party but nothing leapt out at me.  And let's face it, some of Martha's recipes and long and involved and I don't "do" long and involved.  I like my recipes short and sweet and without much fuss and so for sure, this ruled out the complicated "Birch de Noel" (also known as "Buche de Noel" a/k/a Chocolate Yule Log) starting on page 358.  The basic Yule log is not too difficult to make but my gosh, the accompanying meringue mushrooms are another story altogether.  And only Martha would spend hours carefully drawing lines under the mushroom cap to resemble the actual mushroom top.  And then of course only Martha would dust the meringue mushrooms so perfectly with cocoa to make them look like they were just picked from her back yard.

I am not Martha.  I do not do Yule logs therefore, I do not also make meringue mushrooms.

What I did do though, was to make her Holiday Frittata recipe because it was easy.  But Martha would have likely failed me big time because instead of making it on Christmas morning as intended, I made it for Sunday dinner.  Because I can. 

Actually, Andy ended up doing most of the cooking on this thing.  I roasted the red pepper because I am very good at that (having a gas stovetop makes all the difference), and I chopped the vegetables and mixed everything but then had him do the heavy lifting on actually making the frittata figuring that if Martha inquired later as to how it went, he could tell her he screwed up, not me.  Not that Martha would call because we don't know her from Adam, but I always feel her lurking in the kitchen when making her recipes.  Happily, the frittata came out great and it was very good (because of course it was) and so we dodged a Martha bullet once again.

If you are in a Martha mood for breakfast items, you might also want to consider her "Frittata with Sausage and Pecorino" recipe on the same page as the Holiday Frittata.  Same instructions, different ingredients.

As is de rigueur (good manners) with Martha, she includes several menus to give you guidance over the holidays but feel free to pick and choose which items you want and for what holiday occasion.  Just don't tell her I told you that because she'll likely be mad at me and I don't want Martha mad at me.

Here then, is the perfect and I do mean perfect, Martha Stewart Holiday Frittata with the perfect mix of yummy "fillings" such as red bell pepper and goat cheese, made perfectly by my perfect husband, Andy, on a perfectly good night after Christmas when all through the house we were exhausted and so we made breakfast for dinner.  It's the new "thing" you know and I do believe Martha would approve although if she doesn't she can damn well come over to our house next Christmas morning and make this herself!

Holiday Frittata – serves 6

1 red bell pepper

12 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup milk

¾ cup sliced scallions, white and light-green parts only (about 1 small bunch)

1 tablespoon fresh tarragon, coarsely chopped, plus a few sprigs for garnish

1 teaspoon coarse salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

5 ounces goat cheese, crumbled

½ tablespoon butter

½ tablespoon olive oil

2 small red potatoes, sliced 1/8 inch thick

Ann's Notes:  I thought a dozen eggs was a bit much, but it was just right.  Also, I am not fond of tarragon but probably could have used basil instead.  It would have been cheaper than buying fresh tarragon.  And finally, I almost never garnish anything I'm serving and this is likely to earn me a major Martha demerit but I like living life on the edge.

Roast red pepper over a gas flame or under a broiler until blackened.  Place in a bowl; cover with plastic wrap and let steam 5 minutes.  Peel and seed, then cut into ¼-inch-wide-strips.

"One Pot - From the Kitchens of Martha Stewart Living" - Pork Stew with Fennel and Olives - Christmas

Date I made this recipe:  December 24, 2015 for Christmas Day dinner

One Pot From the Kitchens of Martha Stewart Living – 120+ easy meals from your skillet, slow cooker, stockpot, and more

Published by:  Clarkson Potter/Publishers

ISBN:  978-0-307-95441-1

Recipe:  Pork Stew with Fennel and Olives – p. 25 ("One Pot, Four Ways Pork Stew" – p. 24 and 25).

So, the backstory:  I had my eye on this book but generally don't buy newer cookbooks as I don't have the shelf space.  Instead, I often get the book from the library and then if it passes muster, I put it on the "buy" list, the purchase often happening years later and often at a discount.

But Martha is different.  After my library perusal was over, I decided I should buy it, mainly because my own rule of blogs:  If you post it, you should own it.  It's my own rule and I could break it if I wanted to (I'm very flexible!) but I wanted to finish out the year on a high note and with a clean conscience. 

And so it came to pass that Martha Stewart's One Pot cookbook is now part of my collection, acquired just so I could make this stew for Christmas.  Well, the stew and possibly one more dish, thereby breaking my second, self-imposed rule of blogs:  Thou shalt only make one recipe per book. 

By the time I made the decision to purchase the book though, we were days away from Christmas and so I had to hustle to find a copy of it from a bookstore.  Martha is always popular, you know.  Thankfully, the Barnes and Noble downtown Minneapolis store had a copy and so I grabbed it. Never mind that I had to drive and park downtown, I was on a mission.  I hope Martha appreciates this.

The recipe I selected for our Christmas Day repast was the very delicious Pork Stew with Fennel and Olives.  It was easy enough that I could have made it Christmas evening but something prompted me to make it on Christmas Eve while I was making Christmas Eve dinner and then reheat it Christmas evening and I'm glad I did because I was feeling a bit under the weather Christmas Day and did not have the energy to make the (Martha Stewart) Holiday Frittata I planned for breakfast nor did I have the energy to make this from scratch.  Thankfully, I had enough energy to push the button on the microwave.  Besides, everybody knows that stew tastes better the next day!

Now, it is not often that I dare to diss Martha because well, she's Martha after all, but this recipe – pork stew, four ways – was hard to follow.  The main recipe featured is that of Pork Stew with Root Vegetables and all the ingredients listed are for that and then the instructions to make the pork stew with root vegetables followed.  Then on the next page, she listed all the substitutions but not in a list.  Instead, she wrote things like "In step 1, replace leek and thyme with 1 sliced onion, 1 teaspoon whole fennel seeds, and 1 dried bay leaf."  And so I found myself flipping back and forth to see what the root vegetable instructions were compared to the fennel with olives and then while shopping, had to double-check to make sure I got all of the right ingredients.

I am going to have to "ding" Martha for making me work so hard.  My preferred way to write this is to list all the ingredients and substitute ingredients in one big list and then add clear instructions for each stew.  Yes, Martha, this takes up more pages but your way drove me crazy.  I'm sorry.  (By the way, the other three pork stew recipes are:  Pork Stew with Root Vegetables, Pork Stew with Potatoes and Rosemary, and Pork Stew with Asparagus and Peas, all found on pages 24 and 25.)

The stew though, was really good although for the first time ever, I didn't taste it at all, instead putting it in the refrigerator after it cooled along with the remains of my Christmas Eve pasta dish.  The thing is, these two dishes paired really well together but I didn't plan to serve them together until my Christmas Day intentions went awry. 

As to the "one-pot" recipes, Martha breaks them out by "Dutch Oven;" "Slow Cooker;" "Skillet & Sauté Pan;" "Roasting Pan & Baking Dish;" "Pressure Cooker;" "Stockpot" and then even throws in some Dessert recipes that aren't necessarily made in one pot but by this point, who cares? If Martha wants to include a recipe for Molten Chocolate Cupcakes, then Martha gets to because again, she's Martha.

Whenever you make this recipe, it's delicious and relatively easy to put together.  The hardest part for me was finding the right amount of pork shoulder roast (most I found weighed way more than I needed) but once you get that right, it's smooth sailing from that point on.

Happy Holidays and Happy Cooking, Everyone!

Pork Stew with Fennel and Olives – serves 4

1 ½ pounds pork shoulder, cut into 1-inch pieces

Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

3 tablespoons olive oil

1 sliced onion

3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

1 tsp fennel seeds

1 bay leaf

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 ½ cups white wine, such as a Sauvignon Blanc

1 can (28 ounces) whole peeled tomatoes, pureed with their juice

2 heads fresh fennel, cut into 1-inch pieces

1 cup Kalamata olives, pitted

¼ cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves

Season pork with salt and pepper.  In a small Dutch oven, heat 2 tablespoons oil over medium high.  Working in batches, add the pork and cook until browned, 5 to 7 minutes.  Transfer to a plate.  Add remaining oil, the onion, fennel seeds, and bay leaf.  Cook until the onion is translucent, about 3 minutes.  Stir in the flour and cook 1 minute.

Add the white wine and bring to a boil for 1 minute.  Add the tomatoes and juices and pork and bring back to a boil.  Reduce to a simmer, cook, partially covered, until pork is tender, about 1 hour and 15 minutes.

Add fennel and olives, and return to a boil.  Reduce to a simmer; cook, partially covered, until vegetables are tender, 25 to 30 minutes more.

Stir in parsley, and season with salt and pepper.

"Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese Cookbook - 100th Anniversary" - Garden Macaroni Salad for Flag Day

Date I made this recipe:  June 14, 2015 – Flag Day!

The Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese Cookbook – 100^th anniversary by The Kraft Kitchens, Consumer Affairs Department

Published by:  Kraft, Inc.

© 1981

Purchased at BCPA – Bloomington Crime Prevention Association – annual book sale, June 2015

Recipe:  Garden Macaroni Salad – p. 45

Yesterday was Flag Day and I know you all know this because your calendar likely told you so.  And this is a good thing because otherwise, many a holiday would fly under the radar, unnoticed by one and all.

Andy and I don't have a flag to fly for the occasion (my parents did though, and I think at last count when I cleaned out their house was four – impressive!), but in my book, we had the next best thing:  a Philadelphia cookbook, from Philadelphia Cream Cheese, to honor the only, the only, the flag-sewer herself, Betsy Ross who hailed from Philadelphia. 

I sincerely hope that high school history classes cover Betsy Ross and her flag, but in case they didn't, here's a little tutorial:  Betsy (Elizabeth) Griscom, born January 1, 1752 in Philadelphia, died January 30, 1836, in Philadelphia, is credited with creating the American flag although according to Wikipedia, no concrete proof exists to show she did.  Well, let's just give her the benefit of the doubt, shall we?  I mean, we can look out our windows and see flags everywhere so somebody figured out how to sew them and if not Betsy, then who?  Exactly.

Surprisingly, Betsy was married three times  and whoa! -  I do not recall getting this information in any of my history classes! Husband number one was John Ross – thus her last name – and their marriage turned out to be controversial in that she was a Quaker and he was an Anglican.  The Quaker religion did not want its members marrying outside the Quaker faith and she was expelled from her family and her friends.  Seems a tad harsh but she got the last laugh when she and John Ross started and ran upholstery business which is how she likely acquired her valuable sewing skills. (By the way, I could not type "John Ross" without inserting the last name of "Ewing" from the TV show, Dallas. I can't help it, my brain just goes there.)

After John Ross died in 1776, she married husband number two, Joseph Ashburn, but alas, he died in 1782.  So onto husband number three she went, John Claypool, who managed to last 34 years with Betsy before dying in 1817.  Good heavens.  Betsy though, lived until the ripe old age of 84, and so thank goodness for that!  Men did not fare all that well in the early years of this country's founding.  (The source for most of this information came from Biography.com)

As to the flag, it was rumored to have been created after a visit by George Washington, or at least that's the story that's told at the Betsy Ross house in Philly.  Hey, it works for me.

Given that I seem to have a cookbook to mark every occasion, I am sad to report that I didn't have anything for flag day nor did I have – like I thought I had – a Philadelphia cookbook.  I could have sworn that I had one from the Philadelphia Museum of Art but it turns out the cookbook was from the Boston Museum of Fine Arts.  Well – oh-so-close, am I right?  

Left without a good, bona fide source, I turned to Martha Stewart, who had she been alive at the time, might have instructed Betsy on how to sew the flag together because Martha is like that you know.  In fact, Martha has probably sewn her own flag, but only after dyeing the fabric she probably wove with her own two hands into red, white and blue, using fruits like raspberries and blueberries grown on her property in Maine.  Actually, I am sure she would have left the "white" fabric alone as that is how it would have been done back then and our Martha is a stickler for detail. 

Anyway, the best recipes I could find befitting a Flag Day observance were from Martha's American Food cookbook (as yet unused) .  Up for consideration was a Chicken Pot Pie (very colonial) as well as a Mile-High Apple Pie (very American) but the making of each of these would have had me in the kitchen for days on end and so I passed.  I mean, not to whine, but for the pot pie, I would have had to capture and pluck a chicken cook the chicken separately and then all the vegetables separately and then make a crust separately and...and...and....zzzzzz.  Same with the pie; silly Martha wanted me to peel 5 freaking pounds of apples for this mile-high pie.  I should think not.  Still, it was my only hope until....

...I spied The Philadelphia Brand Cream Cheese Cookbook I had set aside for the 4^th of July.  Screw that!  We needed a Flag Day-related recipe and we needed it now.  This was a Code Red if we ever saw one.  And so I made the Garden Macaroni Salad recipe on Flag Day, bought a rotisserie chicken from Kowalski's to go with it and ta da – dinner!

Now if you've read my last two blogs, you are probably thinking that I was all kinds of crazy to make yet another dish with cream cheese but folks, the third time was the charm.  This was easy and delicious.  And although I had my heart set on making this salad, everything else in the book looked awesome, most especially, and I know you will laugh, the Frosted Sandwich Loaf found on p. 35.  I remember seeing these sandwiches in many a cookbook while I was growing up and loved them because they were just so pretty!  My mom may have made them for a bridge party once or twice although I can't recall for sure.  Yet another mystery – like Betsy Ross' flag-making – that will go unsolved.

I don't think you can go wrong with any recipe in this book – well, except for Peppermint Cheesecake (p. 124) but that's because I hate peppermint – but I will surely double back come the holiday season to make some of the cookies and bars for my annual holiday party – yum!

So here you go and unless I find another Flag Day-related cookbook for next year, this may be it folks so make it and enjoy it!

Garden Macaroni Salad – 6 to 8 servings

2 cups (7 oz.) elbow macaroni, cooked, drained

1 cup chopped cucumber

½ cup chopped green pepper

½ cup radish slices

2 tablespoons chopped onion

½ teaspoon salt

1 8-oz. pkg. Philadelphia Brand cream cheese

¼ cup Kraft mayonnaise

¼ cup sweet pickle relish

1 tablespoon Kraft Prepared mustard

Combine macaroni, cucumber, green pepper, radishes, onion and salt; mix well.  Combine softened cream cheese and remaining ingredients, mixing until well blended.  Add to macaroni mixture; mix lightly.  Spoon and gently press into lightly oiled 6-1/2 cup ring mold; chill several hours or overnight.  Unmold onto serving plate.  Garnish with cucumber slices and radish roses, if desired.  Variation: Substitute lightly oiled 9-inch springform pan with ring insert for ring mold.*

*Ann's Note:  Or, you could pull out the ring mold, in this case my mother's, look at it, decide it's too much work to oil (!) and just leave the macaroni mixture in the bowl you mixed it in. 

Holiday Party Food 2013 - appetizers, crackers and sweets

REVISED:  September 10, 2014

Date I made these recipes:  week of December 1, 2013 (Party Food!)

Chips and Dips by Claudia McQuillan

Published by:  Chronicle Books

ISBN:  0-8118-1271-5

Recipe:  Four-Onion Dip - p. 81

Christmas with Martha Stewart Living by Martha Stewart

Published by:  Oxmoor House

ISBN:  0-8487-1627-2

Recipe:  Chocolate-Meringue Cookies - p. 65 (plus Swiss Meringue recipe p. 63)

Crackers & Dips - More than 50 Handmade Snacks by Ivy Manning

Published by: Chronicle Books

ISBN:  978-1-4521-0950-3

Recipes:  "Everything" Flatbread Crackers - p. 33-35

The Last-Minute Party Girl by Erika Lenkert

Published by:  The McGraw-Hill Companies

ISBN:  0-07-141192-5

Recipe:  Aimee's Hummus - p. 100

The Pleasure of Your Company - How to Give a Dinner Party without Losing Your Mind by Molly O'Neill

Published by:  Viking

ISBN:  0-670-87266-0

Recipe:  Tomatillo Salsa - p. 119

Tiny Food Party! by Teri Lyn Fisher & Jenny Park
Published by:  Quirk Books
ISBN:  978-1-59474-581-2
Recipe:  Mini Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches - p. 91; cheese sauce - p. 88

Bonus Recipe - Bacon Jam, published in the Minneapolis StarTribune newspaper

September 10, 2014:  My sincere apologies to Ivy Manning, author of Crackers & Dips.  A few months ago, my blog's host site, Blogger.com, sent me an email saying that they had received notice of a copyright violation and had to put this blog post into "Edit Only" mode.  I asked Blogger what the problem might be but they didn't respond.  But today, while working on some blog stuff, I noticed that this posting had a comment and the comment was from Ivy who basically said "I'm flattered that you found four recipes you like but that's practically giving away my book for free."  She is correct.  She suggested that I could list one recipe and then direct you where to buy the book and so after careful consultation with my husband, we selected her absolutely delicious "Everything Flatbread Cracker" as this worked perfectly with every spread we made. And then trust me when I say that your guests will be most impressed with every single cracker in this book and you will instantly become a Party Diva/Divo Extraordinaire.  Now be good party hosts and go out and buy this book.  Right now!  This book was published by Chronicle Books and they put out fabulous cookbooks.  You can order online at:  www.chroniclebooks.com and then search for Crackers & Dips. (For the record, in close second was the recipe for "Irish Blue Cheese and Walnut Shortbread." If memory serves I was a bad party hostess, hoarding several of them for myself.)

 

As is now usual and customary, my husband and I totally get our party groove thing on in December making appetizers and desserts for our annual open house.  We need a bigger house and possibly, after this year, a bigger table.  My money is on a bigger table (he can make a new leaf) before the bigger house. 

The rules of engagement for this shindig are easy:  all incredible edibles must be finger food.  I'm not opposed to forks but it's easier with toothpicks.  As it is, we rent plates and glassware every year and the rule of rental is you must rinse:  I refuse to add forks to my dishwashing detail.

As I do every year, the minute one soiree ends, I start planning the next but as the years go by, I am less driven to use cookbooks from my collection and more interested in just finding recipes that work; every year is an experiment!  The only rule that I try to follow is to publish only the cookbook recipes used in this blog seeing as how it's all about cookbooks.  That said, the bacon jam was so popular this year that it gets its own special mention at the end of all this.

So let's start.  First up was a delicious Four-onion Dip that I made from the Chips and Dips cookbook.  I liked the recipe because of the variety of the onions used to make this.  I think it was semi-popular; it could be used on crackers, breads or even the veggies I set out.  This recipe called for me to roast garlic, a new task but one that really worked.  I see more roasted garlic in my future.  There were several other delicious-sounding dips in this book but I went with this one first.  We'll see about next year next year!

In the cookie department, I added Chocolate Meringue Cookies to the mix this year, compliments of Martha Stewart.  I have a friend who can't eat gluten and these cookies, along with the Mini Chocolate Chip Meringues I made last year, really float her boat.  She gets a special doggie bag when leaving the party.  My husband Andy mixed these up and they were pretty easy.  He even got all "Martha" on me by doing a special swirl with the mixture - showoff!  Martha's book is, as you might imagine, filled with cooking and crafts.  I focused on these cookies because they seemed easy.

Next up we have a new acquisition - Crackers & Dips and here we had to restrain ourselves as there were so many yummy crackers and dips to be found.  I put Andy in charge of the crackers and the four we selected were really good.  Although the instructions can be a little long, the end result is worth it as guests oo'd and aah'd that we made our own crackers.  My rule of thumb for baking anything is "no yeast."  I fear yeast for lo, I have made doorstops in my day, and I don't have the patience to let anything rise over and over again.  For those of you who are into yeast crackers though, you'll find them all there in this fabulous book.

 

I had several recipes flagged in Erica Lenkert's The Last-Minute Party Girl cookbook but my husband nixed all but one - the hummus - and not because he's mean but because "This is getting out of hand."  Post-party, he mentioned that we need to cut down on dips which turns me into a pound puppy but he's right.  Still, next year I swear I'm making the White-Bean Dip and he can just suffer!

Finally, the last of the cookbooks I used - Molly O'Neill's The Pleasure of Your Company - provided the Tomatillo Salsa recipe and out of all the things I made, this one ranked "so-so" on the "yum, yum" meter.  It wasn't bad, in fact it's kind of pleasantly tangy, but other things caught our guest's attention this year.  Still, I love Molly O'Neill's writing and loved this cookbook as it is all about throwing successful dinner parties and who doesn't want to throw a successful party, dinner or no dinner?

Now that I'm through with these books for the year, they will go back into storage in bins specifically marked as Party Food so I can consult for next year.  Meanwhile, I do believe I've collected about a dozen potential recipes for next year.  My work here is never done.

Four Onion Dip - makes 2 cups – Chips and Dips cookbook

3 T. olive oil

2 Vidalia, Maui, or Texas onions (size 10/15--I have no idea what that means) or substitute yellow onions.  Cut onions into 1/4-inch dice.

1 Leek, white part only, cut in half lengthwise, and thinly sliced crosswise

6 shallots, minced

1 bunch green onions, trimmed and thinly sliced

12 cloves roasted garlic, minced (instructions below)

1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon sea salt

2 tablespoons sherry vinegar

1 cup sour cream

1 T. minced fresh chives

1 T. minced fresh parsley leaves

In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat.  Add the onions, leek, shallots, and green onions, and cook, stirring often, for 15 minutes.  Add the roasted garlic, cayenne pepper, salt and vinegar, reduce heat to low, and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Remove mixture from heat, transfer to a bowl, and let cool completely.

In a mixing bowl, combine the cooked onions with the sour cream, chives, and parsley.  Taste and add more salt and cayenne if desired.

Transfer to a serving bowl, cover, and refrigerate until ready to serve.

To roast the garlic:  Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  With a sharp knife, slice off the top fourth of a head of garlic.  Drizzle the exposed cloves with olive oil; loosely wrap the trimmed head of garlic in aluminum foil, place in warm oven, and roast for 30 minutes.  Carefully open up the foil, and roast 10 minutes longer.  Remove from heat, cool, and remove the cloves from the skins.  *Always store roasted garlic covered in the refrigerator until ready to use.

Chocolate-Meringue Cookies – makes 30 cookies – Christmas with Martha Stewart Living cookbook

¼ cup cocoa powder, plus 2 teaspoons – more for dusting

1 recipe Swiss meringue (1 recipe makes 4 cups)

4 large egg whites, at room temperature*

1 cup sugar

Pinch Cream of Tartar

½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract

*We use powdered eggs whites for all our meringue cookie recipes and they work great.  Martha will likely disapprove but Martha is not in my kitchen cranking out party food, now is she?

Make the Swiss Meringue (no cocoa for now) by filling a medium saucepan one-quarter full with water.  Set the saucepan over medium heat, and bring water to a simmer.

Combine egg whites, sugar and Cream of Tartar in the heatproof bowl of an electric mixer, and place over saucepan.  Whisk constantly until sugar is dissolved and whites are warm to the touch, 3 to 3 ½ minutes.  Test by rubbing between your fingers.

Transfer bowl to electric mixer; whip, starting on law, gradually increasing to high until stiff, glossy peaks form, about 10 minutes.  Add vanilla; mix until combined.

Sift ¼ cup of the cocoa over the meringue, and fold so that streaks of cocoa remain.

Fill a pasty bag fitted with the tip of your choice (Martha uses Ateco #5 star tip) OR fill a plastic bag with the mixture and then snip of a corner.  (Again, I'm sensing a frown here and I don't care, Martha!).  Pipe out cookies in small coils or desired shapes onto baking sheet.  Sift remaining cocoa over cookies; bake at 175 degrees (on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper) for 2 hours, until cookies lift off parchment easily.

"Everything" Flatbread Crackers – makes 24- Crackers & Dips cookbook

2 T. fried shallots or dried onion flakes

2 tsp dried minced garlic

2 tsp sesame seeds

1 tsp poppy seeds

1 tsp caraway seeds

1 tsp sel gris or other granular sea salt

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling

1 tsp light brown sugar

½ tsp baking soda

½ tsp fine sea salt

¼ cup creme fraiche or sour c ream

2 T extra-virgin olive oil

6 T water

1 egg beaten with 1 T water

Preheat oven to 350.  Line two baking sheets with silicone baking mats or parchment paper.  In a small bowl, combine the shallots, garlic, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, caraway seeds, and sel gris; set aside.

In a food processor or large bowl, combine the flour, brown sugar, baking soda, and fine sea salt and pulse or whisk t combine.  In a small bowl, whisk together the creme fraiche, olive oil, and water. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and pulse or stir with a wooden spoon until the dough comes together.  Knead the dough by hand on a lightly floured surface until smooth, about 10 strokes.

Divide the dough into two balls, cover with plastic wrap, and let the dough rest for 30 minutes.  Pat one ball into a small rectangle and roll it out on a lightly floured surface until the dough is 1/16 inches thick, picking up the dough occasionally and rotating it to make sure it's not sticking to the work surface.  Alternatively, use a pasta maker following the method on page 13 until the dough is 1/16 thick, the number 5 setting on most machines.

Using a pastry wheel or pizza cutter, trim any irregular edges (save the scraps).  Cut the dough into rectangles measuring 2 by 4 inches and transfer them to the baking sheet, spacing them very close together.  Repeat the rolling and cutting process with the remaining ball of dough and scraps, using a second baking sheet.

Brush the crackers lightly with the beaten egg and sprinkle them with the shallot mixture.  Using a flat-bottomed measuring cup, gently tamp down the toppings into the dough to adhere.  Prick each cracker 4 or 5 times with a fork or comb.

Bake until the crackers are golden brown and crisp, 15 minutes, rotating the baking sheets once from top to bottom and from back to front while baking.  Cool on racks and store in an air-tight container for up to 5 days.

 Aimee's Hummus – makes 2 cups – The Last-Minute Party Girl Cookbook

2 cups canned chickpeas, rinsed and drained

¼ cup tahini (sesame seed paste, available at most large grocery stores) (Ann's Note:  Most grocery stores, if they carry this, carry it in large amounts but the Seward Co-op in Minneapolis breaks down their shipment into much smaller quantities.

2 teaspoons roasted garlic or 2 raw cloves mashed to a paste with some salt

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 teaspoon cumin powder

6 tablespoons lemon juice

Olive oil as needed to thin

Blend all ingredients except the olive oil well in a food processor, adding olive oil at the end if needed to achieve your desired consistency.

Serve chilled or at room temperature.

Tomatillo Salsa – serves 8  – The Pleasure of your Company cookbook

3 pounds tomatillos, husked

4 medium poblano chilies, roasted, seeded, deveined, peeled, and chopped

2 small garlic cloves, minced

8 scallions, minced

1 cup fresh cilantro, minced

2 tablespoons minced fresh marjoram

Preheat the oven to 375. Place the tomatillos on a baking sheet.  Roast them in the oven until their skins blister, about 20 to 25 minutes.  Set aside to cool.

Place the tomatillos in a blender with the remaining ingredients.  Puree until smooth.  The salsa can be stored in the refrigerator in a closed container for up to 2 days.

Bonus – Bacon Jam – from the Minneapolis StarTribune (newspaper) – www.startribune.com – Published September 18, 2013 – Article by Nealey Dozier  – TheKitchn.com - Makes 1 ½ to 2 cups.

Note: This easily can be doubled or tripled. Some recipes call for discarding some of the bacon fat before adding the onions. I kept all of the fat but it is personal preference. Hey, if you are going to make bacon jam, you might as well go all in!

1 lb. thick-cut bacon, cut into 3/4-in. pieces

2 small sweet onions, peeled and thinly sliced

1 large shallot (2 cloves), peeled and very thinly sliced

1/2 c. pure maple syrup

1/4 c. balsamic vinegar

2 tbsp. Dijon mustard

2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Set a large Dutch oven or heavy skillet over medium-high to high heat. Add the bacon and cook, stirring occasionally, until it begins to brown and crisp, 15 to 20 minutes. Keep all the bacon fat in the pan; do not discard (see Note).

Lower the heat to medium. Stir in the onions and shallots, and cook until softened, 8 to 10 minutes. Add the maple syrup, vinegar, Dijon and Worcestershire sauce. Season with salt and pepper. Pour in 1/2 cup of water and stir to combine. Bring the mixture to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally if necessary. Cook until the jam has a glossy appearance and syrup-like consistency, about 1 hour.

Allow the mixture to cool for 20 to 30 minutes. Transfer to a blender and pulse a few times to purée the larger pieces, stopping every pulse or two to stir and check the consistency — it should be thick and chunky, not a paste.

Transfer to an airtight container. Bacon jam can be refrigerated for up to one month. Serve at room temperature.

"Eleanora's Kitchen - 125 Fabulous Authentic Italian-American Recipes" - Nonna's Homemade Minestrone

Date I made this recipe: April 26, 2009

Eleanora’s Kitchen – 125 Fabulous Authentic Italian-American Recipes by Eleanora Russo Scarpetta with Sarah Belk King
Published by: Broadway Books
ISBN: 0-7679-1221-7 © 2004

Recipe – Nonna’s Homemade Minestrone – p. 82-83

A few years ago when I was surfing my TV for something interesting to watch (“57 channels and there’s nothing on…”), I stumbled across a Martha Stewart Living show. Martha’s guest that night, Eleanora Scarpetta was demonstrating the fine art of canning tomatoes from her garden for later use in one of her many Italian-American recipes.

Now Martha followers out there know that Martha is not the warmest of TV “talk” show personalities. If Martha was an attorney, I, for one, would squirm on the witness chair as she makes me a tad uncomfortable, even if she is a kitchen goddess. As one girlfriend said “You’ve gotta respect someone who grows their own Easter grass.” I can’t argue with that.

Apparently, Eleanora was not intimidated in the least. As I recall, she ran circles around Martha, such that you thought some kitchen fairy had waved a magic spatula and turned Eleanora into a new TV star. She was the quintessential New York Italian with her accent and a bundle of energy – in fact she was a real dynamo in the kitchen that day. I was enchanted; Martha was not amused.

Or was she? Apparently she was not as upset as she seemed because Eleanora credits her in the Acknowledgments as having encouraged her to write her first cookbook. (Well Martha, you minx you!! I never saw you as a mentor – my bad!)

So back to Eleanora - as I said, I was quite taken by her because she’s a lot like me (only she’s blonde and I’m brunette…well, sort of) – she runs on high octane, is very focused, and is very passionate about food. And so as soon as this cookbook came out on the market I had to have it.
But as I mentioned in a previous blog or two, I haven’t always been good about cooking from other Italian cookbooks, given that I tend to think that my Italian family recipes are better than anyone else’s. So let’s just say I’m glad I got over that notion and made this delicious Minestrone Soup. (Although, truth be told, I overdosed on ham and pork products over Easter and just had to change it up a bit!).

Unlike Eleanora, I most certainly did not can my own tomatoes so I used canned instead. (I am fast becoming my mother whose fear or germs and botulism rivals that of the TV character, Monk.) I think today’s canned tomatoes have come a long way from earlier versions and so the flavor was just fine.

But as per usual, I have to take exception with one of the instructions, and today, kids, it is that one cannot soften kidney beans in one hour (as called for by the recipe).

Now there are several ways that one can cook these beans to avoid having them be a bit on the al dente side (as mine were) and I’d recommend overnight soaking first or, if pressed for time, boil them for a bit (see package directions) and then let them sit for about an hour or so. Either way, you won’t end up with mush but you will end up with a softer bean. (I suppose you could use canned but canned beans are pretty mushy to being with so it’s up to you).

But our instructions here said to cook the beans and pancetta over medium heat for an hour and then add some of the vegetables and cook for 45 minutes more and that was just too short. I believe my total elapsed time on the beans was closer to 3 hours and even then I thought the beans were a bit too “raw.” But much depends on your own personal taste buds so I just wanted to give you fair warning.

We never had Minestrone soup at home but of the Italian soups we did have, almost all were topped by Parmesan or pecorino cheese and so I followed suit with this and it was molto bene. And if your nonna (“grandma” in Italian although we never, ever called her that) is like mine, she’d encourage a voracious appetite by telling you “Mangia fatta grossa” – “Eat and get fat!” (Is there any Italian grandmother out there who doesn’t think the grandchildren are too skinny? I haven’t found one!)

Nonna’s Homemade Minestrone – makes about 4 quarts; serves 6 as a main course, 8 as a first course)
½ pound dried kidney beans, picked over and rinsed (**See my comments above about the cooking time. I strongly encourage you to soak the beans overnight before adding them to the pot)
½ pound piece of pancetta (preferably spicy) or Canadian bacon
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 large Vidalia or other sweet onion, finely chopped, or substitute yellow onion
6 carrots, peeled and chopped (about 3 cups)
4 large russet potatoes, peeled and diced into ½-inch cubes (about 4 cups)
4 celery stalks, with leaves, cut into ½-inch pieces and leaves finely chopped
2 cups homemade tomato puree, or 2 cups canned whole plum tomatoes with juice, pureed in a blender or food processor for 3 to 5 seconds
1 teaspoon salt, or to taste
¼ pound green beans, trimmed and cut into 1-inch lengths, or substitute asparagus tips or diced eggplant
2 small zucchini, cut into ½-inch pieces (about 1 cup)
1 small yellow squash, cut into ½-inch pieces (about 1 cup)
6 fresh basil leaves, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh flat-leaf (Italian) parsley
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, optional

Place 12 cups of cold water in a large pot and bring to a boil. Add the kidney beans and pancetta and cook, partially covered, over medium heat for 1 hour. (Plan on a lot longer)

Add the olive oil, onion, carrots, potatoes, celery, tomato puree, and salt, and cook at a low boil, stirring occasionally, for 40 to 45 minutes, until the potatoes and carrots are tender but not mushy. (Note: if the soup seems too thick, add 1 to 2 cups of water to dilute to the desired consistency.)

Add the green beans, zucchini, squash, basil and parsley, and simmer for 10 to 15 minutes longer or just until the newly added vegetables are al dente. Taste for seasoning, adding more salt and pepper, if desired. Discard the pancetta and serve immediately.
Variation – Pasta – such as tubettini or elbows – can be added to the minestrone for a more substantial dish. After adding the vegetables in step 3 bring a separate pot of lightly salted water to a boil and cook ½ pound of pasta according to the package directions. Drain, reserving 2 to 3 cups of the pasta water. When the vegetables are cooked, add the pasta to the minestrone. Add just enough of the pasta water to reach the desired consistency.

By the way, since I live in Minnesota, I must have typed minestrone as minnestrone countless times over before I got it right. Thank goodness for spell check!